


Missing you

by Baek0421



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, first english fanfic - Freeform, omg, someone help me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-04-30 11:23:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14495883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baek0421/pseuds/Baek0421
Summary: Minhyuk loves his best friend since childhood, but things are never easy right? That's what his mom always tell him.Would someday Hyungwon notices him? Or he will have to accept this and live his life?That's the worst part of being in love.





	1. Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is my first english fanfic, I'm brazilian and I made this fic in portuguese, but I decided to post here and now I'm really nervous because I don't know if it's right. 
> 
> I'm really sory for my english, but I hope you all can understand. 
> 
> I posted this fanfic in Spirit Fanfics, so hope you guys like. 
> 
> Again, sorry for my english.
> 
> It's a short chapter, but next will be bigger. <3

_"Wonnie, run!" The dark-haired boy screamed, running so fast in front that his sneakers even tear bits of grass._

  _"Wait, I'm not that fast!" The other shouted, stoping for a few seconds to catch his breath, which made the older boy laugh._

  _"You're so slow." he said and moved closer, pinching the younger's cheeks and he just laughed, slapping his friend hands. "But I love my lazy best friend. Cause you're my best friend and I'm yours, right?"_

  _The younger one looked at him in surprise, laughing awkwardly;_

  _"What kind of question is that?"_

  _"A simple question! Do you like me better than Hoseok?" He insisted, and Hyungwon just laughed, but his cheeks turned pink, something that Minhyuk love._

_"You're my best friend, Min-ah."_

  _"The best of all?"_

  _"Best of all." He finally answered and the boy laughed happy, hugging Hyungwon so hard that the he’s bones hurt._

  _"I love you, Wonnie."_

 _________________

**[ Minhyuk POV ]**

 

The touch of my cell phone invaded my dream and made me wake up slowly. I blinked once or twice until I could see something, so I turned on my lamp and picked up my cell phone.

 I stared the kakao's screen, smiling at Hyungwon's name, then sat on the bed and answered the call.

 "Look who took three calls to answer me, someone was asleep." I heard Hyungwon's voice and I chuckled, running a hand through my hair.

 "You woke me up? The world will end. " I said with amusement.

 "I called to give you some news." He spoke and I blinked in surprise. "I think you'll like it, I just think."

 Hyungwon has traveled for three years, it's funny how fate plays tricks on us, sometimes it gives us hope only to knock us down on purpose.

 I love him since I was eight, when we were running in the backyard of my house, it was the first time I admitted my feelings for him without knowing it. We grew up and over the years my affection for him also grew, but at the same time a thing called 'friendzone' was born.

 When I was thirteen and he twelve Hoseok moved into the neighborhood. They met at the school where we both studied and became friends very quickly.

 And I? I was filled with jealousy.

 Until that day I was used to have Hyungwon's full attention on me, but then Hoseok showed up and we became a trio, that wouldn't be a problem if I didn't love him so much. It was a child love, something I didn't realize until I began to notice how he and Hoseok looked each other.

 Hyungwon felt for Hoseok what I felt for him, it was the same thing, so I stayied quiet and in the day I had the courage to admit what I felt for my best friend, he came to my house and said he received a job offer outside the country.

 "We'll see, tell me the news," I replied with a smile, a little too anxious, but it's stronger than me.

 Will he be coming back? That would certainly make me very happy.

 "I recevied a job offer ... in Korea." Hyungwon spoke and I smiled, god I smiled like an idiot. "And you know what's better?"

 "What could be better than that?" I asked happy.

 "It's in the city, I'll be able to see you and my parents." Hyungwon answered and I let out an excited scream, not caring about the neighbors (after all, my brother isn't home). "I'm staying at a hotel, so I won't bother anyone."

 "Of course not! You'll stay here with us, Wonho moved to live near the gym and the bedroom is empty, so you stay here at home, without discussion. "I said firmly and he laughed.

 "Kihyun won't mind?"

 "Nah, Ki has been in a good mood since he started dating." I said and he laughed.

 "Oh, poor guy," he replied and I just laughed. "Okay then, I'm happy to be back. I missed you."

His words made me smile. I can't believe this is really happening, but I can't say myself happier.

 _________________

For the first time in my life I woke up before Kihyun even got home. Since he started dating Hyunwoo, he's been spending more and more nights out and I do not care about it, his mood has improved so much that all I can do is thank Shownu.

 I began to remove the covers, to clean the cabinets, to the floor I cleaned, and it was not long until the door opened, more precisely at seven in the morning.

 "What's going on here?" Kihyun asked, the surprised tone in his voice being very clear and I just laughed.

 "I'm cleaning the room."

 "Cleaning?"

 "Yes."

 "You, my brother, cleaning the room?"

 He laughed a little more and looked around, trying to find an clean space and of course he didn't find it.

 "And what made you clean the room?"

 "Wonnie's coming back!" I answered cheerfully and he looked at me in surprise. "And he's going to stay here, I offered ... No problem, right?"

 Kihyun laughed, then dropped his bag in the corner of the room and told me to sit on the bed. I pushed the blankets to the floor and sat down, being followed by him.

 "No problem, but ... Don't you think you're looking forward to it a bit too much?" He asked and I blinked confused. "Minhyuk, let's be frank, you're still in love with him. It won't be easy to have Hyungwon here at home."

 His words made me reflect for a few seconds, I know it won't be easy and I also know that no matter what happens, what I feel for him will not change.

 Having Hyungwon with me, even as a friend, is what matters.

 "I know, but it's okay, I've lived all my life in friendzone, but that doesn't change what I feel for him." I replied and smiled.

 "What if he and Hoseok stay close again?" Kihyun asked and I frowned.

 "How did it go with Shownu?" I changed the subject all of a sudden and he sighed, shaking his head and getting up.

 "I'm just telling you not to get too excited. Think about it, okay?"

 I sighed, saying yes.

 "Ok."

 "I'll get some photos I left here and go back to the studio. We'll talk later, good luck with your cleaning." He said and I nodded. "Oh." He turned around again. "The sheet is upside down." He pointed to the bed and I let out a groan of defeat.

 "After all the work I've had!"

 Kihyun laughed loudly, then left the room and I stayed alone, why cleaning has to be so difficult?


	2. Chapter II

**[ Hyungwon POV ]**

I walked around the airport dragging my bags, I swear I tried to locate myself, but it's not being easy as I imagined; Minhyuk promised to pick me up, but I haven't found him yet and no matter how many trips I've made, airports remain a mystery to me.

Being back is crazy, I want to see my parents, Minhyuk and Kihyun, and the rest of my friends. All this would last only a few months, my contract was short, but the opportunities began to show up and what should be a few months ended up being three years. I can't wait to see my parents, eat a barbecue made by Hoseok and also spend hours talking and playing video games with my best friend.

"Wonnie!" I heard Minhyuk's loud voice and turned to him, I could recognize Minhyuk anywhere his hair is now red, but he's still beautiful.

I missed him so much during these years, all I want now is spend a lot of time with Minhyuk and hug him tightly.

I couldn't react, he came rushing towards me and hugged me, almost knocking me down with him, but all I did was laugh and squeeze him hard.

"I missed you so much! It was only a few months and you stayed three years! "Minhyuk complained but laugh and continued to squeeze him, as if he couldn't let go.

"I know, sorry, but now I can buy a better birthday present for you." I said and we both laughed; Minhyuk pinched my cheeks as he used to do to get all my attention when we were kids. "I missed you."

"Me too." Minhyuk smiled. "Now let's go home, I have so many things to tell you, you need to meet Hyunwoo and organize your new room, if you imagined the amount of crap that Hoseok left behind you would be terrified!" He started talking and talking and I ended up laughing. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me!"

"Nah, never mind, it would hurt your feelings," I said playfully and he kicked me, which made both of us laugh even more. "Let's go home, all I want's to take a shower and sleep." I let out an involuntary yawn.

"Oh really? Tell me something I don't know." Minhyuk said and I rolled my eyes.

I love sleep, there's some kind of problem about that?

_________________

We arrived home after a snack and I realized how this place reminds me Kihyun. He was like our mother, taking Minhyuk out of bed to go to college, arguing with him for leaving the wet towel on the couch and his dirty clothes in the wrong place. He has always been very cool with me, despite fighting for my excess sleep, I'm happy to being able to see him again.

I took a shower and slept a little, I couldn't sleep on the plane, what's strange since I feel sleepy all the time, but I think it was the anxiety of seing my friends again.

I woke up with Minhyuk knocking on the door and asking me to get ready. Kihyun is going to bring food and the new boyfriend to meet me, so I took a shower and dressed, trying to look a little better to meet the guy who's making Minhyuk's brother so happy.

I was in the sofá talking with Minhyuk about something stupid when we heard the sound of the keys unlocking the door, I looked at it and smiled when Kihyun came in and just behind him Shownu, holding all the bags as a good 'gentleman'.

"Hey, look who's back." Kihyun smiled and came to hug me; We always fight a lot, I think it's because he's too bossy and picky and I'm pretty lazy, but at the same time he's always been the brother I didn't have. "I thought you were not coming back. Do I have to wake you up for your appointments every day?"

He asked and I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Now I got a powerful alarm clock." I nodded and he smiled. "So who's the lucky one?" I asked Kihyun and he pulled his boyfriend by the arm.

"This is Shownu, he's Hyungwon."

"Hi, nice to meet you Hyungwon." He introduced himself and held out his hand politely, which I accepted and squeezed firmly.

"My pleasure, you're really brave to date this grumpy hamster, he can be very dangerous when in a bad mood," I said playfully and Kihyun hit me, which made Minhyuk laugh.

"He knows, but he likes it, Shownu likes a leash." Minhyuk joked and we all laughed.

"It would be a lie if I said I don't like." He said, hugging Kihyun from behind and I realized that Minhyuk's brother is in love just by the way he smiled and accepted the hug. "Ki said you were off to work. Model?"

"Yes, I was at China, modeling and doing some minor work as DJ." I answered and we all went to sit and eat. "It was cool, but ... I missed home."

"And we feel yours," Minhyuk said, giving me a deadly, tight hug that deep down I love. "Without you here, Ki had all the power to make me get out bed." He said and we laughed.

"What about Wonho? He didn't even ask about me. "I complained and Minhyuk let me go.

"He talks about you all days," Shownu said and I stared at him in surprise. "I do the gym where he works, he said he's coming to see you tomorrow."

I smiled at Shownu's words; Hoseok has always been important to me, we are friends and I like him, I like a little too much, but even if he does not understand my feelings, I really want to see him.

"It's good that he's only coming tomorrow. Today you are only mine! "Minhyuk nodded and I smiled. "What? I am your best friend."

"Okay enough of that, let's have lunch," Kihyun said and Minhyuk nodded. "Have you already got work here?"

"Yes, my manager has found some work for me so you don't have to worry about me." I nodded and he smiled.

I'm glad Kihyun is so happy. He can be annoying most of the time, but he deserves all the joy in the world.

_________________

It's been a long time since I'd been enjoying dinner like this; I missed Kihyun and his annoying way, the endless talks of Minhyuk and Hyunwoo also seems to me to be a good person. They stayed in the kitchen and I went back to my room while Minhyuk went to his to take a shower and rest. I lay down on my bed and let out a low moan of satisfaction, then my cell phone ringed.

I glanced at it and thought about ignoring it; you can be my agent with that talk that I need to start a diet or something, or maybe it can be Changkyun wondering when we can meet, I haven't had time to talk to with him yet.

I pulled out the cell phone and saw Hoseok's name, we talked to each other during those years I was on China, but they weren't very frequent conversations. He took care of his life and I didn't have many days off where I could enjoy talking to my friends and family, but apparently he didn't forget me. I couldn't contain a smile, so I opened the kakao's message to read it.

 

_**WONHO:** _  
_I couldn't come by to see you today, but that doesn't change how happy I am that you're back. KKKK_

_**HYUNGWON:** _  
_I thought you had forgotten me._

_**WONHO:**_  
_No way! When Minhyuk told me that you were coming back, I was happy. It was many years out, I didn't expect such a sudden return, but who is alive always appears, right?_ ♥

 

I laugh at the heart in Hoseok's message; Anyone who looks at him thinks he is a tough man because of the amount of muscles he has, but it's not like that. Minhyuk loves to say that even if he has a strong body, Hoseok has a girly soul.

I heard the knocking and Kihyun opened the door.

"Are you busy?" He asked and I raised my eyebrows, suddenly getting tense, after all when Kihyun arrives like this he looks like my mother when she comes to scold me.

"No, come in." I said and he nodded, then walked in and closed the door, coming to sit on my bed.

"I will not take much of your precious sleep time." Kihyun said and I know he wants to ask me something, but for some reason he seems uncomfortable about doing it. "Hm ... Feel at home, ok? I don't know if Minhyuk said this, but you can stay with us for as long as you want, he's very happy when you're around." He spoke and I smiled.

"Thank you, I missed him, even you." I said and he chuckled.

"I missed you too."

There was a moment of silence, so I decided to ask.

"Do you want to ask me something?" I asked and he blinked in surprise but chuckled.

"Ahhh .... No, never mind. Do you need anything else? blankets, pillows?" Kihyun asked and I realized he changed the subject and gave up on what he came to ask.

"No, thanks."

"Ok, good night." He got up from the bed, heading straight for the door.

"Kihyun?"

"Hm?"

"Your boyfriend is pretty coo." I said and he smiled.

"Thank you. Take good care of my brother okay?"

His request took me by surprise and at the same time left me confused; I do not know what Kihyun means by 'taking care of Minhyuk', but his brother is my best friend and it is obvious that I would do anything in the world to protect him.

"Okay." That was all I could answer. "Good night."

"Good night."

Kihyun left the room and I stayed in silent for almost a minute, letting out a low sigh.

It's better sleep and talk to Hoseok tomorrow, he'll understand.

"Yeah, that's best."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all like this chapter, sorry about the late, but pass everything to english took me some time.  
> If have any mistake, plese tell me.  
> Bye bye!


	3. Chapter III

**[ Kihyun POV ]**

Shownu left early, before breakfast; He slept here last night and I thought he was going to eat something with us, but a strange phone call made him nervous and he left. Sometimes I ask myself who is this person who calls him, I am not a jealous boyfriend and also do not seek to know who he talks to, but at the same time he has been acting strange lately; He call me for dates and let me waiting there alone, goes away in the middle of our dates and always leaves to answer the phone.

At first I thought it was something related to work, but now? Now I don't know what to think.

I let out a frustrated sigh, continuing to brew the coffee.

"Good morning." I heard Hyungwon's voice and I almost dropped everything in front of me.

"You woke up alone? Without me needing to sprinkle water on your face? I had even prepared my spray. "I showed him and Hyungwon laughed.

"What's wrong with that?" He asked and I raised my eyebrow. "Besides, Hoseok said he's coming over for coffee so... I wanted to be awake." he said and I nodded slowly.  
Hyungwon is the slowest human being in the universe; My brother has been in love with him since childhood, don' understand how he doesn't realize it, they were always together and then the boy ended up in love with Wonho. I can see that he still likes him, which is a pity, because I would like to see him dating Minhyuk, they would make a nice couple.

"And Minhyuk?"

"Taking a shower." He answered, opening the refrigerator and taking a soda can.

"Are you going to drink this now?" I asked, and he laughed.

"Yeah." he said and I shook my head, taking my glass of juice on the counter. "And your boyfriend? Is he gone? "He asked and I sighed, nodding. "Hm, you don't look happy."  
"Nah he ... He said he had a last-minute meeting, office thing," I said and he raised an eyebrow, probably wondering why it bothers me so much. "It's always this, you know? Last minute meetings ... I don't know. "

"Do you think he's lying?"

I thought for a few seconds, shaking my head slightly.

"It's not like that, I just ... I dont understand, things weren't like this, sometimes I think Hyunwoo hides something from me, but it's not up to me to investigate. We are ... Just boyfriends. "

_Just boyfriends_ , that should be important, but we've been together for almost a year and Shownu never introduced me to his family or friends. I don't pressure him about this, it's his right don't introduce me to them, but it bothers me, maybe I'm not what his family members expect.

Hyungwon opened his mouth to speak, but was silenced by the bell, then we went to the door and opened it, finding Wonho.

"Good morning." Hoseok smiled and I let him in so he headed straight to Hyungwon and hugged him.

Wonho hugged him tightly to the point of pulling his feet off the ground even with Hyungwon's height, then I watched them both with a slight smile, but I looked away as Minhyuk came into the living room. He stared at the two of them hugging and I saw his smile die, turning into a troubled expression, his eyes turned to me and I just shook my head very lightly.

I warned this would happen, but saying this now would be mean.

"I really missed you." Wonho spoke and Hyungwon laughed.

"I missed you too." It was his turn to say something and Minhyuk tried to escape to the kitchen, but it was discovered.

"Hey, how are you?" Hoseok asked with a smile and went to hug him too, and it took some time for Minhyuk to reciprocate, but eventually he put his arms around his shoulders.  
"Good and you? It's a miracle you show up here early in the morning without being sweaty. " Minhyuk commented with a slight smile.

"I couldn't show up like this right in the first day Wonnie comes home." Hoseok smiled at him and I decided to go.

"Let's eat? I still have to go to the studio to get some pictures. "

"Yeah, I'm starving." Wonho smiled and I nodded.

These sentimental boys, why does love have to be so difficult?

_________________

The elevator started going down in the most horrible silence, Wonho and Hyungwon stayed in the apartment and I decided to give a ride to Minhyuk, I know he don't have any appointment today with his teammates, but he practically begged me with the look to take him away from home. He glanced me, then he sighed.  
"Go ahead." He said and I shook my head.

"No."

"Come on, say it,  _'I warned you, Minhyuk. He's still in love with Hoseok and you're a fool .'_  I know that's exactly what you want to say it. "He said moodily and I sighed.

"I don't think you're fool, you still love Hyungwon and it's normal to be sad by that sort of thing," I said quietly. "But don't think the kid does it on purpose, he's slow, you know that."

Minhyuk nodded slightly, letting out a low sigh.

"And you're even worse."

He stared at me and the elevator doors open, then we walked through the garage toward my car.

"You're sad and complaining, but you don't do anything to change things."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean whining that Hyungwon doesn't notice your feelings will not get you out of this hole." I said firmly. "Go ahead and tell him what you feel, your chances are bigger if he knows, the worst that can happen is he asks for forgiveness for not being able to love you too."

"For what? Spoil my friendship with him for a silly feeling?"

"It does not look silly to me when you're all depressed." I unlocked the car, and Minhyuk took the passenger seat. "If you wait for Hyungwon to notice what you feel, you're going to die with thirty-two cats."

"Hey! It's not like that. "He whined and I chuckled.

"Yes it is. You can't be mad at him for being all cling to Hoseok if you don't show interest either. Go to the fight. "

"What about Shownu? Have you figured out why he was so mysterious? "

"No. He lied about a meeting earlier today." I said a bit sour.

"Why do you think he lied?"

"He's obvious, when he gets nervous he stutters."

"You think ... that he's cheating on you?" He asked, and just hearing that made me feel uncomfortable.

I stayed in silence for a few seconds, shaking my head.

"I don't think Hyunwoo is these kind of men." I mumbled. "Maybe ... I don't know, he's ashamed to introduce me to his family, they have money and I'm just a photographer."  
Minhyuk sighed and I did the same.

"Let's change the subject." I said and turned on the car.

I have so much work today that thinking about why Son Hyunwoo doesn't take me seriously won't do any good.

_________________

"Would you like something to drink, sir?" The waiter asked, and I glanced at the clock. It's almost one o'clock, Hyunwoo is late and his cell phone is off. I thanked and asked for the restaurant bill. "I'll be right back."

I pulled the wallet out of the bag; I can't believe he took me out of work to keep me waiting, I can't stand those stupid excuses anymore. ' _I had a meeting_ ', ' _They needed me in the office_ ', ' _Sorry Ki, I didn't see the time go by while I worked._ '

He must think I'm idiot.

I paid the bill and left the restaurant; All I had to do was try to follow the sidewalk and hear Shownu's loud voice.

"Kihyun! Wait!" He said and I took a deep breath, glancing over my shoulder. "Sorry, I've had so much work that ..."

"That you forgot that you had asked me out. Like last week you call me for dinner and let me waiting AGAIN." I said mad and he became nervous, which made me laugh with irritation. "Look at your face, you can't even disguise it. Do you think I'm stupid? "

"No, It's not what your thinking, last week I had dinner with some clients and today they came back there and ..."

"You didn't have any dinner." I said angrily. "I called to your office because I wanted to send the pictures of the article you asked for. They said you went home." I laughed. "Do you lie all the time and still expect me to believe all your bullshit?"

"Ki, forgive me, I had dinner with my parents that day and I couldn't uncheck it."

"Just like today did you have a business breakfast? I don't believe in you. I'm not going to be your little toy. Just make me a favor and go fuck yourself." I said and tried to leave, but he pulled me. "Let me go, don't you dare touch me." I pulled my arm back. "Go live with your lies, I'm tired." I took off the ring he gave me, a silly symbol of commitment that meant so much to me before, but now it seems just a lot of lies. "It's over." I threw the ring at his feet, heading to my car, ignoring all his screams.

_________________

**[ Wonho POV ]**

I spent the whole morning talking to Hyungwon in Kihyun's apartment; He told me everything he did in China, showed the photos of his portfolio and also showed some videos he recorded from his DJ performances. He seems to be pleased with his career and I'm happy he got this far, Wonnie has always been hardworking and deserves everything that is going on in his life.

I decided to go home to change my clothes and get my backpack, but when I opened the door of the apartment, I found Hyunwoo sitting on the couch with a bottle of beer in his hand.

That's a bad sign.

"That face, more beer in the hand, means something happened." I commented and he stared at me, pointing to the table, then I went to it and blinked in surprise when saw the ring.

Shownu took two weeks to buy this ring for Kihyun, he wanted to buy something beautiful that symbolized their relationship, this ring here means that they broke up for some reason.

"Hm, that's not good."

"He broke up with me." Shownu replied and I know I need to go to work, but he is my best friend, I can't let him get drunk on his own. "He told me to stay with my lies."  
I blinked in surprise, sighing low.

"He was going to find out one time or another." I said discouraged;

"He didn't find out, just... supposed. I think he noticed that I've been lying."

"Look, you lied to him and ... And it was wrong, Kihyun didn't deserve this, but it does not mean you don't like him," I said thoughtfully. "You just have to stop it before it gets worse."

"I can't, you know my parents, they would fuck up with Kihyun's image and that would be bad for him. They would find a way to transfer all the blame for my supposed betrayal to him, and the marriage story would continue. "Hyunwoo sighed and sipped his beer.

Shownu's family is very traditional, the type that values the image more than anything else and they have chosen a bride for him. The girl isn't bad, according to him, but at the same time it's not what Hyunwoo wants for his life.

The marriage was decided a month ago and with that decision also began the lies. Shownu didn't want to tell Kihyun the truth, he swore to me that he would find a way to get rid of this marriage, at first I agreed not to tell because I thought it would last only one week or two, but it didn't work like that.

"If you won't take action to end this marriage then leave Kihyun alone," I said, not intending to fight, but he need listen this. "Why are you going back to him? You know how he is and Kihyun won't accept this situation. He's a cool guy, don't do this with him."

"I ... I can't, Kihyun is all I got, he's the best thing that happens in my life." Shownu said and I didn't know exactly what say to him.

"Then find a way to finish this marriage and be honest whith him. That's the only way. Well, I've got go, work calls me. Just don't do anything stupid." I said and got up, looking at the ring one more time.

I really hope that he find a way to end this marriage, Kihyun is a good person and deserves the best.

_________________

I worked all day thinking about what will happen when Kihyun discovers the truth. My best friend is going to be a dead man and consequently me too, this will be my death sentence; I decided not to think about it and went straight to the steakhouse where I arranged to find Hyungwon.

I found Hyungwon inside the restaurant, going to his table.

"Sorry for the late, I had to stay a little longer at the gym." I explained and he nodded.

"Alright, I almost did not come too," He said and I raised my eyebrow. "Kihyun came home and locked himself in the room, there was no saint to get him out of there." He said and I start to be nervous. "It looks like he broke up with his boyfriend, which is weird since yesterday they seemed really in love." Hyungwon continued to speak, his voice gaining an investigative tone. "Why are not you looking at me?"

I leapt into the chair and he settled his arms on the table.

"You know something."

"Of course not," I replied more than quickly and he raised an eyebrow. "Let's ... order the meats? You said you missed my barbecue, it's not in the backyard of my parents house, but it can still be good. " I nodded and he sighed.

"You're a bad liar."

I chose the steaks and looked at him.

"I remembered you today," I said and he looked at me curiously. "I have a friend who owns a nightclub and he's looking for a good DJ. You're really good." I smiled and he returned.

"Wow, I accept, if he wants to hire me I'm in." He said excitedly.

"Fine, his name is Jooheon. I'll talk to him, you'll do a test and if he likes your sound, you in, but I know you'll do well." I nodded calmly and he laughed.

"Thanks. But, come on, tell me what you did on these years I was out." He said and I smiled.

"Hmm, there weren't many things. I finished college, got a job at the gym, and I ended up moving to split the apartment with Shownu to be closer to work." I scratched my chin and he chuckled.

"You're still popular? I remember how the boys wanted a bit of your atention in school."

I ended up laughting.

"Nah, I'm not like that anymore. I'm always working, my time is short."

"Uhum, sure, I truly don't believe in you."

"I'm not the only one." Said and he looked at me. "Yeah, you, Chae Hyungwon, I remember that your locker at school always had a chocolate box in valentine's day."

Hyungwon had a secret lover at that time, in all valentine's day a chocolate box appeared in his locker with a misteryous note. At that time I started to investigate, he wasn't very popular with the girls so I imagined it was a boy who send him chocolates. Minhyuk helped me, but we didn't find out.

"Yeah, but I never discovered who was it. Telling the truth? I aways thought that was my mom."

We laughet togheter and the meats came, what made his eyes bright.

"That chocolates were delicious, it remembered me a lot the ones Minhyuk's mother did."

His words made me look at him, Minhyuk helped me a lot that time, but thinking now... Maybe the boy who send him chocolates was indeed Minhyuk.  
Wow, now I'm surprised.

"Minyhyuk's mother? Really?"

"Yeah, don't you remember she wanted to open a coffee shop with your mom?"

"She wanted?"

"Really?"

"At that time all I worried about was porn."

So the secret lover was Minhyuk and that means he likes Hyungwon; Maybe he still likes him, I have to talk with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my english if you see any error.   
> Hope you all liked! Bye! ~


	4. Chapter IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the late, I'm writing more two histories at the same time (for spirit in portuguese) and this is making me crazy.   
> Hope you like this chapter. <3

**[ Minhyuk POV ]**

"Minhyuk? Hey, can you hear me? "

I awoke from my thoughts when Jooheon poked me and I stared at him, smiling awkwardly.

"Sorry, my thoughts wasn't on earth." I said and he chuckled.

"What happened?"

"Nah, it's nothing. I'm worried about my brother. " I drinked the bubble tea and he looked at me confused. "He broke up with his boyfriend, Ki didn't tell me what happend, but it was bad and now he doesn't want to cook, that's the worst." He chuckled.

"Well, it's expected, but ... Changing the subject, you're going to dance at the opening of my club, right?" He asked and I smiled and nodded.

"Of course! What I don't do for you?" I asked and I pinched his cheeks, laughing as Jooheon slapped my hands. "I'm gonna talk with some friends and we'll prepare something cool, believe me." I nodded and he smiled.

"Wonho said he already found someone to do a DJ test tonight, said he's a friend of yours. Hyungwon, I think."

"Wonnie? Hm, he's perfect for work, you won't regret it! "

The door bell rang and I turned my attention to it almost on instinct, blinking slowly when I saw Hyungwon enter with Hoseok, both laughing and talking enthusiastically, something so simple that it filled me with jealousy, but I preferred to be still and to continue to drink my coffee.

"Do you like him?" I looked up at Jooheon when he made a question.

"W-What?"

"The kid with Wonho, you look pretty upset."

I looked away, shaking my head.

"That's Hyungwon, my childhood best friend."

"Oooh, so he's your crush hm?" He asked and I nodded.

When Hyungwon left I was very depressed and needed to drown my tears in a bottle of alcohol; I remember staying all night whining, I think it was that day that I realized how much we were friends, because any person would have left me there crying alone, but Jooheon no, he stayed with me until the end of the bottle and then took me home.

"Do you want to call them to sit here?" He asked and I shaked my head, staring at them from here, not surprised when Hoseok's mother (the owner of the cafe where we are) greeted Hyungwon with affection; she had adored him since he was little, always separated the biggest slice of chocolate cake for him, so it's more than natural.

"Let's go home please?" I asked and he nodded.

"I'll pay and I'll be right back." He said and I just sighed.

_________________

Jooheon left me at home and decided to see how things happen at his club. I opened the door and did not see Kihyun, so I looked at him in his room and he was not there. When I got to the kitchen, I saw the note in the refrigerator.

_I'm going to work late, don't wait for me. **\- Kihyun**_

I heard the knock on the door and when I opened I saw Shownu holding a bouquet of flowers.

"What do you want here?"

"I know Kihyun don't want to see me, but... I really want to ask sorry."

"He isn't home."

"Oh..."

"Come in." I said and he looked at me a little scared.

"What?"

"Come in. I want to talk with you."

He obeyed and came in.

"He didn't tell me excactly what happend, but I know you've been lying to him. Then tell me, Hyunwoo. What are you hiding?"

He stayed in silence for some time and then finally started to talk.

"Look, I... I love your brother ok? I really love him, a lot."

"Who loves doesn't lie."

"I know. My parents, they... they doesn't think like me. I don't care if you guys aren't rich, but they care. I didn't want that he thinks that I'm ashamed of dating him." He said and I sighned.

"Just this?"

"What?"

"You should have tell this to him. Kihyun would understand." Said and looked at the flowers. "I don't like you. Kihyun is my older brother, he's strong and he doesn't cry very easy you know? But he loves you, so... I have to accept. If you make him suffer again, I'm gonna find you. You understand?"

"Yeah, totally."

"Great. Now get out."

He nodded and left the flowers in the couch, but before he left, I turned to him again.

"Shownu."

"Yeah?"

"You're not hiding anything more, right?"

"N-No, of course not."

I looked in his eyes for a while, then nodded and he got out.

I don't know why, but I don't trust him.

_________________

I made some calls and marked the rehearsal days with my partners; This is the first nightclub that belongs entirely to Jooheon and he deserves a nice opening show, something memorable that will make the audience return.

I sent a message to Hyungwon to see if he is having dinner at home, but he warned that he will have a meeting with a magazine staff that he will model so I decided to make lamen and eat in the bed. I put on some movie to watch, but then my cell phone vibrated and I raised my eyebrow to see a message from Hoseok.

I pulled the phone with my free hand to read the message:

 

**Wonho:**

_Hey, Min-ah, you there?_

 

I thought about ignoring it, but I've already opened the message, so it's best to respond and know what Hoseok wants.

 

**Minhyuk:**

_Yeah._

**Wonho:**

_Wow, don't get so serious! I just wanted to talk, look what I found in my closet."_

**Minhyuk:**

_What?_

**Wonho:**

_Look._

 

He sent a photo and I raised my eyebrow, it's an old photo of us near Hyungwon, one we took on Valentine's Day when we were fourteen. Hoseok was crazy that day, he wanted to discover who was the guy that left chocolates for Hyungwon. He never thought it was me, so I kept quiet.

Of course it hurted every time I saw he eating without knowing it was me who left the chocolate there, but I was happy to see him so joyfull. _  
_

 

**Minhyuk:**

_Wow, I'm so ugly in this pic._

**Wonho:**

_Then look at me and you'll feel better. Do you remember when we tried to descover who was the guy who left chocolates for Wonnie?_

**Minhyuk:**

_Yeah, why?_

**Wonho:**

_I was eating with Wonnie yesterday and he told me something interesting._

**Minhyuk:**

_What he told you?_

**Wonho:**

_That the chocolates remember a lot the ones your mother do._

 

I don't believe he really discovered after so much time. I never told this to anyone, only for my brother of course, but Kihyun kept this secret. 

 

**Wonho:**

_It was you, right?_

**Minhyuk:**

_If you tell this to him i'm gonna kill you._

**Wonho:**

_Heey, relax ok? I'm not gonna tell him. You like him?_

**Minhyuk:**

_Oh fuck off._

**Wonho:**

_Come on, tell me._

 

I stayed in silence for some time. Hoseok isn't bad, but I don't want him to know. Hyungwon likes him, but it's not something I can tell, it would fuck things up for my best friend. He isn't guilty that Hyungwon don't fell attracted for me.

 

**Minhyuk:**

_Yeah, since I was eight._

**Wonho:**

_Wow..._

**Minhyuk:**

_Let's talk about this tomorrow ok? At your mother's coffe shop._

**Wonho:**

_Kay. Tomorrow._

**Minhyuk:**

_I need to sleep, bye._

**Wonho:**

_Bye._

 

I sighned and looked at the tv. I really hope that Hoseok doesn't tell him.

_________________

I got early in the coffee shop, I want to settle this matter once and for all, and then see if I can go out with Hyungwon, because so far everyone has had time with him but me and it makes me very upset. We met at his mother's coffee and when I got there Hoseok had even chosen a table.

"I ordered you some coffee." He smiled and I nodded, facing him.

"Thanks."

"So ... are you going to tell me now?"

"Straight to the point, hm?" I asked and he chuckled.

"You made me curious."

I sighed softly, thanking him when the waitress brought my coffee, so I turned to Hoseok.

"What do you want to know? Do I like him? Yeah, I like him, there's not much else to say." I said and took a sip of the coffee.

"Why did you never tell? I mean, did you always left the notes with written poems and never had the courage to say it was you? Why?"

"Because wouldn't change anything. If he liked me back I wouldn't have to leave hidden gifts ... I will always be the best friend, nothing more, if I told what I feel for him it would ruin our friendship, besides Hyungwon doesn't like me the way I like him." I sighned. "He loves another guy." 

Hoseok blinked in surprise and I just rolled my eyes; Hyungwon is slow and Wonho is even more.

"Does he like anyone? Who?"

I thought about telling, I really thought, but I would end up fucking Hyungwon and it would be selfish of me; Just because he does not look at me as a lover should I ruin his chances with Hoseok? No, if I am really his best friend and truly love him, I must be happy for his achievements and not want the worst;

"Dunno. I just know he likes someone, he told me one time." Said and he sighed.

"And you don't do anything?"

"What else can I do? It is not something that is in my power. If he only sees me as a friend I can't do anything. I know Wonnie loves me and cares about me, but as a brother, nothing more. "

Hoseok sighed and nodded, finally understanding what I mean. Sometimes I think he likes Hyungwon as well, he stares at him with that stupid face and the smile he gives to him it's different for the normal ones. Wonnie loves him, I can't compete with Wonho.

"Fuck." That's all he said and I chuckled.

"Nah, all right, I've gotten used to it. Besides, I know I'm important to him and that's enough for me." I nodded sincerely. "Now you might as well pay me a slice of pie don't you?" I suggested and he chuckled.

"I don't think I have much choice."

It's better this way, Hoseok already knows too much, but I think he'll be quiet about what I feel.

_________________

"You finally got some time for me," I said as Hyungwon grabbed our popcorn.

We agreed to watch a movie today; When we were younger we always went to the movies every friday, it was our weekend gathering. If he asks me to go to the sidewalk I'll go with him, I'll go where Hyungwon wants to take me.

"I know I haven't had a lot of free time, but today I'm only yours." He spoke and I smiled, taking my popcorn. "The nightclub test is tomorrow, so let's enjoy it today."  
"Oh, you're going to audition for Honey, right?" I asked curiously, and he arched a brow.

" _Honey_?"

"Jooheon. He's a friend of mine, we met shortly after you traveled. It's been a long time he wants to open the nightclub, you need to see that structure! The place is amazing, the light set is cool and the bar looks great." I smiled excitedly and he nodded slowly.

"Hm, and ... Do you think your friend will hire me?" He asked and I chuckled.

"Well, if it depends on me, you're already more than hired." I said for sure, so we sat down on one of the seats. "I'm sure you'll do well."

"I hope so, now that I'm more stabilized, I wanted to start following my dream." Hyungwon commented and I blinked curiously.

"Oooh, to become a poet?" I asked and he chuckled softly.

"Yeah, almost like that, you know I love writing, even though it's been rusty lately." He whined and I just smiled.

"You were always very good, I loved your poetry." I said truthfully.

"What about you? Are you still with your dance group? "

"Yes, we won a competition a couple months ago, it was pretty cool. Now we are going to dance at the opening of Jooheon's nightclub and after that we will start rehearsing for a contest, it's very big, if we pass in the first phase we'll be able to perform outside the city, and you know what? The cash prize would be great, we could get a better studio to rehearse." I smiled a little more. "You're going to watch me, right? Both in the nightclub and in the contest." I asked and he laughed.

"Of course I will, I wouldn't miss it." Hyungwon nodded and I smiled a little more. "I remember Wonho always danced with you back in school."

"He participates sometimes, but with his work at the gym he does not have time to rehearse," I explained, eating more popcorn and we decided to go to the movie theater at once. "But we've done very well without him." I nodded, and he returned.

There was a moment of silence and he talked.

"That's pretty weird." Hyungwon commented out of nowhere and I stared at him. "The three of us. We were always together at school, but now each one went one way, remember how we combined to form a dance trio?" He asked and I laughed.

"Wow, that's been a while." I said, laughing.

"Yeah." Hyungwon smiled and was silent for a few seconds. "I miss the time we spent together."

I looked at him smiling lightly. It's strange, but nowadays I can no longer see ourselves as we were before, a part of me prefers this way, where I don't have to divide Hyungwon's attention with Hoseok all the time.

"You didn't lost us. At least you'll never lose me," I said sincerely and he stared at me. "After all, I'm your best friend, remember?"

Hyungwon laughed, nodding.

"The only best friend I have." He confirmed, which made me smile like an idiot, feeling butterflies in my stomach like a virgin little girl.

I know that between him and me there will never be a romantic future, but at least I'm sure I'll always be his best friend, Hyungwon promised.

Being the best friend is enough for me, it makes me feel special enough.

I stared at him in silence for a few seconds, smiling lightly as I watch him eat the popcorn and face the trailers that began to roll.

If at least once in your life you gave me a chance, I would certainly do everything in my power to make you happy.

 

 


	5. Chapter V

**[ Kihyun POV ]**

I am aware that I am being rude while my brother speaks and speaks in front of me, but I don't even pay attention to what comes out of his mouth. I continued to wipe my lenses in silence, just watching the movement of his lips, which didn't tell me anything. Let out a low sigh, putting everything aside and going to sit on the couch next to Minhyuk.

"Did you hear anything I said?" He asked and I stared at him.

"Sorry. I'm really sorry."

He sighed, turning to me.

"You're thinking about him, right?" He asked and I nodded. "If you miss him, you should give that bastard a chance."

"I can't do this, it would be stupid of me, he lie to me and I ask to come back? No way, I have dignity." He laughed lightly.

"That sounds more like pride to me."

"Call whatever you want. I have a full day today, so don't expect me to eat at home." Said and he nodded slowly.

"Alright, we won't be home at all." He commented and I stared at Minhyuk; "Today is Wonnie's test at Jooheon's nightclub. I'll go with him and we'll meet Wonho there." He explained, and I nodded slowly.

I heard the doorbell, then stood up to see who was in my studio, and when got to the door I found myself facing Hyunwoo, with the greatest guilty expression of all time.

"What do you want here? I do not want to see your face, "I said firmly, but then I felt a hand on my shoulder and when I glared at my brother he shook his head.

"Just listen, it's better than regret it later." He spoke and I stared at Hyunwoo intensely.

"Please Kihyun, just give me a chance."

My brother get out through the door without saying goodbye, so I let Shownu in, but I pulled away and turned my back on him.

"Did you come to waste my time giving me other excuses? I don't have all morning to listen your bullshit." Said sharply, I don't care if I'm being rude or something, after all he hurt me and I hate myself even more for letting it hit me so hard.

"Ki, look at me." He urged and I pressed my fingers into my own arms. "Please."

I looked and turned to him.

"Look, I know ... That I lied, it was wrong, I should have told the truth from the beginning." He murmured and I narrowed my eyes lightly. "My parents and my whole family are very traditional, they ... They've always controlled my life and it's ridiculous to admit it, but it's the truth." He let out a heavy sigh. "They have a lot of power to destroy whoever they please, I was afraid ... of them trying something against you."

"So I'm not good enought to you. That's what you're saying?" I asked, and he widened his eyes slightly.

"No! You are incredible and I love you, I know your worth more than anyone else, it's me who isn't good enought for you." I said and I sighed in annoyance. "But I was afraid they would think that of you, even the most perfect person in the world would be less to them, the character doesn't matter to my family, just social standing." Shownu tried to approach, but I stepped back and he stepped back as well. "I didn't want them to ... humiliate you, or make you feel uncomfortable. So I lied, I didn't mean to offend you, they're full of ... of projects and I had no choices."

I looked away, sighing heavily.

"I would have understood, but you're so ... pathetic that you hid something so stupid to me," I said angrily and he laughed desolate.

"I'm really pathetic, but I just thought of you ... I would never forgive me if my parents ended your career, what you love the most." I murmured and I stared at him. "But that doesn't change how much I love you and ... And I admire you, you're so incredible Ki." He came closer, but this time I couldn't move. "Forgive me, please. I know I'm wrong, but I love you and you can't doubt about it." He spoke and touched my face, then I stared at him in silence. "Give me one more chance and I'll prove you won't regret it."

I swallowed hard, then he came over and kissed me, just a kiss, but that made me sigh softly against his lips.

"You're an asshole." I murmured and he chuckled.

"Does that mean I got a chance?" He asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Conditional." I replied, and he smiled, giving me another kiss. "This doesn't give you all the benefits." I said and he laughed even more, pulling something out of his pocket and I saw that it was the ring he gave me.

"Is there a chance you want it back?" He asked and I stared at the ring for a few seconds, turning my eyes to Hyunwoo and smirking, picking up the ring and putting it back on my finger, then he smiled too and tried to kiss me, but I stopped him. "Conditional."

He laughed and got away from me.

"Can we have dinner together?"

"Not today, I have a meeting with a future client tonight, but maybe tomorrow." Said and he nodded.

"Tomorrow." He pulled me by the waist, kissing me one more time and this time I reciprocates, censoring me internally for being so weak for him, but it's stronger than me. I love this asshole and no matter how much this story remain a little strange, I still want to give it another chance, because being without Shownu seems to be much worse. We pulled away a little.

"Go away," I ordered, pushing him when he wanted to give me more kisses. "Come on, go."

"Okay, you're the boss." He laughed and released me. "Let's have lunch latter."

"Right."

Shownu left the studio and I sighed low, staring at the ring on my finger. I twisted my lips lightly, sliding my fingers against it.

"I hope you're not lying again." I murmured.

_________________

**[ Hyungwon POV ]**

"Why isn't your brother at home when we need him?" I asked, trying to fix the clothes on my body and Minhyuk chuckled loudly as we followed the sidewalk to the club. I don't know how to iron clothes, Kihyun wasn't and Minhyuk told me that the last time he tried, he ended up oppening a huge hole in his brother's expensive shirt.

He didn't want to risk it, so do I.

"Relax, you're great." Minhyuk nodded and we stopped in front of the nightclub, which is closed at this hour of course.

"Wow, it's huge," I murmured and he smiled.

"You have to see inside."

Minhyuk pulled the key from his pocket and I raised my eyebrows, after all he seemed to have intimacy with this Jooheon guy and it is obvious at last he spoke of him very fondly yesterday. I decided to leave this aside, we entered the nightclub and I whistled low, the place is huge; I saw the stairs descending to a lower level where the dance floor is and also the stage where the DJ will stay, the bar stays where we are, along with an area with some velvet sofas and small tables for people to have more privacy.

"You didn't overdo it." I commented and he waved excitedly, pulling me hard and I almost fell, but was dragged until we reached the dance floor where saw Wonho talking to another man, probably Jooheon.

"Johoneey ~" Minhyuk spoke with a sweet voice and went to hug the 'friend', but the way Jooheon wrapped his arm around his waist, it suddenly bothered me. "Am I entitled to free drinks?" He asked and Jooheon smiled.

"It depends, if you drive everyone crazy with your show."

"I'm an expert." Minhyuk said smiling and I felt a bitter taste in my mouth that until now I didn't know. "This is Hyungwon. He's a great DJ, don't be ruthless to my best friend." He spoke and nudged Jooheon's chest with his finger, then walked away and the guy came toward me.

"Nice to meet you. The advertisement for your work was so good that I suspect you're already hired." He said and I smiled lightly.

"I hope so." I squeezed his hand.

"Let's stay here to be your cheerleader." Wonho smiled and pulled Minhyuk by the shoulders, who waved excitedly and smiling.

"Destroy as usual."

I nodded, then they went to sit on the sofa I went up to the stage. I've done some DJing back in China, of course my main job has always been a model, but it turned out very well there.

I did my best, I tried to mix in the mixes, but without changing the music, just to give a more personal touch and when I finished Wonho and Minhyuk applauded as Jooheon, but he was more restrained and my best friend shook him hard.

A doubt began to plague me ... Could he and Minhyuk have something? I mean, I know my friend and he would have told me if he was dating someone, but they seem so close in a 'natural' way that they look like a couple without much effort; Of course this has nothing to do with me, I'm his best friend and I must be happy if he has a nice boyfriend, but at the same time ... Even without knowing him, in my view Jooheon doesn't seems to be this guy.

"He's incredible don't you think?" Minhyuk asked excitedly and Wonho nodded, then stepped off the sofa and come to my direction;

"You're really good, if you want to work here on show days you're definitely hired." Jooheon nodded and I smiled a little more.

"Of course I want, thank you." I thanked him and he nodded.

"You did great." Hoseok smiled and pulled me by the shoulders in a half-hug. "That's worth a barbecue, what do you think?" He suggested and I stared at him in surprise, but he smiled excitedly.

"I never say 'no' to barbecue." I was sincere and he laughed. "Minhyuk, you're coming with us, right?" I asked and he seemed to think, but he shook his head.

"I need to rehearse for tomorrow's show." He explained, and my smile wilted.

"Ah... All right then." I commented and he smiled a little more.

"Invite my brother and Hyunwoo, I'm sure they will." He spoke and I blinked in surprise, so did Hoseok.

"They came back?" He asked and Minhyuk shrugged.

"When I left the studio this morning they were about to it." He said thoughtfully.

"Okay then, if change your mind you can go, you too Jooheon." Hoseok invited and I nodded. "For now I'll get some drinks."

"I'll go with you, I can do the house special." Minhyuk spoke proudly and I chuckled.

"You're still going to kill me with them."

"Oh shut up and walk!" He complained, pushing Hoseok hard and he gasped with drama, which made us both laugh, but then I was alone with Jooheon.

"Are you Minhyuk's best friend?" He asked and I stared at him, knowing I shouldn't feel any kind of hostility, after all he asked a simple question, but... I don't know, I don't like this question, maybe he wants to confirm that he has the free way.

"Yes, since we was little. We're nails and flesh." I replied, perhaps using more words than I should have, but it was almost automatic of my part and Jooheon just laughed.

"Hm, cool. Minhyuk's friends are always welcome here, I hope you enjoy the work. "He squeezed my hand and I nodded. "I'll check the stocks, feel free to go to the bar with them."

I nodded again, then sighed softly as Jooheon walked away. He seems to be a nice guy, but I can't see him like that, just don't understand why.

_________________

We left the nightclub after spending a good time with Minhyuk; Hoseok called Kihyun to invite him and Shownu, but he had to work at night and his boyfriend was busy as well, so we went to Hoseok parent's house since in his apartment doesn't have a good place to roast the meat.

"So, you seem to be happy." He said and I nodded lightly.

"Yeah, I wanted this job."

Hoseok raised an eyebrow and I just eat another meat piece.

"Hm, you're acting strange."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are, come on tell me."

"Tell you what? I'm ok, there's nothing wrong."

"You're mad because Minhyuk isn't here, right?"

I sighned heavly, watching the meat in silence. I know it's wrong, but the idea of Minhyuk having fun with Jooheon and not with me bothers me a bit. He said he would rehearse for tomorrow's show, but I don't know if he was telling me the truth. Maybe they are togheter now, kissing and doing things I don't want to imaginate.

"No... I just... It's strange."

"What's strange?"

"We're not like before. The three of us, we were always together and now we're separated." Said and grab another meat piece. "And that Jooheon guy... Don't know, he's seens suspect."

"Jooheon? No, really, he's like a puppy all the time."

"Yeah, but puppies can be dangerous." I said firmily and he laugh.

"You're totally jealousy." He said laughting and I looked at him mad.

"What? No, I'm not!"

"Hey, it's normal ok? Minhyuk is your best friend and you don't want to divide him. Normal, but he's a good guy, trust me."

"They are dating?" I asked and he looked surprised.

"What? No, I mean, not now."

"Not now? They already dated?"

"I wouldn't say date, I know they had something, but it was just that."

Something? That's enought for me, maybe that's why he was asking me things in the club this afternoon.

He likes Minhyuk? That's not good, maybe I have to do something.

Or not, fuck, I can't do anything because Minhyuk didn't even told me they had something.

I have to give him space, even didn't wanting.


	6. Chapter VI

**[ Kihyun POV ]**

 

I parked the car in front of the cafe that my next customer chose to meet; From what she said apart from hiring me to take the pictures at her engagement and wedding, she also wants me to do a special rehearsal to tell her future husband that she is pregnant.

 

I went into the cafe and she waved her hand at me, so I went to her desk and greeted her, sitting down in front of her.

 

"I'm glad you came, Mr. Lee. You were highly recommended by some of my friends, and I need the best photographer in town." She said smiling and I reciprocated. "Call me Kihyun, please." I said. "You're getting married, right?" I asked and she nodded.

 

"Yes, my fiancé's always busy, works a lot, but when we're together he's incredible." Sohyun said and I smiled." He doesn't even think I'm pregnant, so I want to make some special photos, I think he'll like the news, he seems to be the man who really wants to be a father." She took a sip of her coffee.

 

"I'm happy for you. He seems to be a good man." I nodded gratefully as the waitress brought my coffee. "Let's go into the details and then just schedule the photos." I smiled at her, who nodded.

 

Working is always good to keep your head in place.

 

_________________

 

**[ Hyungwon POV ]**

 

I called Hoseok and we arranged to meet at his mother's cafe; I was going out with Minhyuk today, but he warned me that there was a commitment to Jooheon that he couldn't delay, so he chose to leave our meeting for another time.

 

Sincerely? I don't like it, I'm not used to being dismissed, but unfortunately there's not much I can do.

 

We picked the usual table and ordered two coffees, so Hoseok stared at me.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

"Yeah, I'm fine." Said with bitterness and, obviously, he saw this. "Minhyuk should be here, with me, but apparently he and Jooheon had some important meeting and he couldn't come."

 

Hoseok arched a brow and looked at me.

 

"Wow, this is unusual."

 

"Yeah, I think it was more important to him going out with him than with me."

 

"Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?" He asked me and I looked at him, not satisfied with this question.

 

"No... No. It's just..." I shook my head. "We always had something special. Since childhood he tells me everything, but since I came back from China it's look like... I don't know him anymore. Not like before."

 

"Look, he missed you a lot when you go away, it's normal, I think it's a bit new to him."

 

"I know... It's all my fault."

 

"No, I'm not saying that."

 

"But it's the truth. Yesterday at night I was laying in my bed and remembered something." Said and he looked at me curious. "When we we're young, I was trying really hard getting in agency, and in the day they called me saying a chinese magazine wanted take some pictures of me, Minhyuk got in my house, really nervous."

 

I remembered his face, he was so nervous, wanting to telling me something important.

 

"He wanted to tell me something really important, but I was so happy that I started to talk first and... when I fineshed talking he... He left." I sighned.

 

"Think it was something important? Really important?"

 

"Yeah, I never saw Minhyuk that way, but I've been stupid that day and latter we spend some time without talking each other. I thought... He was just sad for my going to China, but if was something different? If was... I don't know, something urgent?"

 

"Hmm... You would only knows if you asked him now."

 

"I don't think so." I said and shook my head. "Now? No. You think... He and Jooheon are dating?"

 

"No, I don't think that they are together. When you left, he missed you a lot and Jooheon... They became friends and... For what I know they fucked some times, but stayed friends, Minhyuk doesn't like him, he likes another guy."

 

I looked at him surprised, not believing in what I heard.

 

"Another guy? Who?"

 

Hoseok became nervous at the same time and I know he knows.

 

"Who? Come on, tell me."

 

"Heey, I... I don't know who is it, ok? All I know is... That the guy he likes doesn't know that Minhyuk is in love with him."

 

How can someone don't know Minhyuk's feelings? He's an amazing friend, is pretty, and anyone would be lucky if dating him.

 

"You're a bad liar."

 

"I'm not lying, you know Minhyuk isn't close enough to me. He don't tell me these kind of thing."

 

Yeah, he just tell these things to he's best friend... Maybe, just maybe, I'm not his best friend anymore.

 

And this hurts.

 

But... Shit, I have to know.

 

_________________

 

Minhyuk called me, as if he had realized how much I was thinking of him, so we agreed to have lunch together at home and I bought everything he likes to eat at a restaurant close to home, if you want to find out anything about him I need to do it himself feel comfortable in his 'natural habitat' and after that begin the small interrogation.

 

"Wow, what's all this for? Will anyone else come and eat with us? "Minhyuk asked curiously and I chuckled, shaking my head.

 

"No, I just wanted to buy everything you like," I said, and he smiled, sitting down beside me on the cushion. "How was your meeting with Jooheon?" I asked, opening the soda for Minhyuk, since he had a problem with bottles and always asked me to open them to him.

 

"Was good. The nightclub will open tomorrow and we are taking care of the last preparations for the show, we will make a good money, I told Johoney that he didn’t have to pay us, but he insists, so we are going to invest in our studio. "He nodded and I returned.

 

"I want to meet your studio, you talk so much about it." I smiled lightly. "I'm glad you followed your dreams, you always were very good at dancing." I said sincerely and Minhyuk smiled.

 

"Nah, not so much, but I think I'm good."

 

I let him serve himself, so I decided to start slowly.

 

"You know, I was thinking yesterday ... I remembered the day I told you about my trip." I said and he looked at me in surprise. "You were going to say something to me that day. I was so ... selfish, I interrupted you and didn't give you time to finish." I remarked thoughtfully. "What was so important you wanted to tell me?"

 

Minhyuk remained silent and noticed a certain unease in him, then took a forkful of food and took a long sip of soda after swallowing.

 

"It was no big deal, Wonnie. I don't remember." He lied, because yes, I know he lied just for not looking me in the eye.

 

"Oh come on, you're lying." I set the foot against his knee and he chuckled.

 

"I'm not!" Minhyuk snapped and laughed. "I don't even remember it anymore." He spoke and finally looked at me.

 

There was a moment of silence, and I turned to him.

 

"You know ... You've never told me who you've been with during these years. I feel betrayed as your best friend." I spoke and made a sad face, which made Minhyuk laugh.

 

"I'm not as popular as Hoseok, you know? My relationships were ... Just fuck, nothing much." He said laughing and I rolled my eyes.

 

"Oh come on. You're pretty and nice, Minhyuk. I doubt I didn't have any boyfriends." I said and this time I'm being sincere, anyone would be lucky to date him.

 

"Thank you, but seriously, I'm not the type to date. I don't think I get along with relationships, having sex for me is fine." He said and I chuckled. "And you? Do you still like Hoseok? "

 

His question caught me by surprise and I stared at him, not knowing what to say.

 

What if Minhyuk likes him? I don't want to hurt him.

 

"Wonho?" I asked and he nodded. "Oh I ... I don't know." I shrugged and looked away. "It was a long time ago, it was a school crush."

 

"It's not what your face says." Minhyuk smiled and pressed his chin to his palm, then stared at me. "You still like him right?"

 

I was silent for a few seconds and he went back to eating, but then I continued.

 

"It's not like I like him, Wonho would never look at me and now, after all this time, I do not care either." I said sincerely. "You know, when I left, I was afraid of losing your friendship." I muttered and he blinked in surprise. "I was so selfish ... I didn't think that maybe you needed me, maybe I would be able to pursue a career here, but I was such a coward thinking that I wouldn't be good in anything else to give it up"

 

"You followed your dreams, I mean ... It was good." He spoke and I stared at him. "You would have regretted it, Wonnie. That opportunity does not come every day and you never left me, what I felt for you never changed ... "Minhyuk spoke and I stared at him in silence. "You are ... um ..." He dropped his gaze and I looked in confusion. "Hm ... you're my best friend, nothing and no one can take your place." He said and I watched as he squeezed his fork.

 

"May I ask you a question?"

 

"You already did." he said and we laughed, still half discouraged. "Go on."

 

"You've never ... Been interested in Wonho?" I asked and Minhyuk raised an eyebrow.

 

"What? Hoseok? Nah, no way. "He replied and laughed. "Besides, I would not be able to betray you." Minhyuk said, and I bit my lower lip lightly.

 

"Hey, don't take that crush seriously. Wonho is a cool guy and he likes you." I nodded.

 

"As a friend, besides Hoseok is not my type, so you can relax. Your way still free." He said and I gasped.

 

"That's not it ... I-I did not mean ..." I let out an annoyed sigh.

 

"Wonnie, you should invest. He changed, now he's more centered, less asshole, I'm sure it would work now." He spoke and I stared at him. "I want you to be happy and I know your happiness is on his side, go and risk it, you invite him out and ... Sit on his lap, he rips his pants off." Minhyuk said and we ended up laughing.

 

There was a heavy silence, I felt this, but I could not explain why. Maybe Minhyuk really likes him and what can I do?

 

I like Wonho, he's always been a close friend, but Minhyuk is my best friend and it's okay to give up a relationship that will never happen for him to be happy.

 

"Let's eat? I bought strawberry pie." I smiled and he nodded.

 

I need to think about what to do.

 

_________________

 

**[ Shownu POV ]**

 

I had lunch with Kihyun and went straight to my parents' house later; Every time I park the car in the garage I feel uncomfortable because I know something is going to happen here and it won't be good.

 

I entered the living room and saw my parents talking and drinking tea; I greeted them both with politeness and went to sit with them. This place always got on my nerves, I remember when I was little, every time I was scolded, they told me to sit here and be quiet, while my mother talked about education and how my future depended on their connections.

 

"Good that you came dear, you said you wanted to tell us something important, is it related to Sohyun?" My mother asked and I took a deep breath, gathering all the courage present in my being to carry this conversation forward.

 

"Yes, I thought a lot about the wedding." I said and sighed. "I don't want this for my life, Mom." She looked at me in surprise, exchanging bewildered stares with my father.

 

"What do you mean you don't want to? Sohyun is the daughter of a famous businessman, your wedding would be the biggest event of the year! She's beautiful, you'd make the perfect couple, how did you come to this stupid conclusion?!" She asked mad and I swallowed hard, but I'm no longer that little boy who complied with all her orders.

 

"I didn't choose that, Mother. You know I'm gay, Sohyun is ... She's a nice girl, we get along and she doesn't deserve to be disappointed in me, but I never chose to be his fiancée, you decided everything for me." I said and shook my head, my mother opened her mouth but it was interrupted.

 

"Is this all for that boy?" It was my father's turn to speak, and I narrowed my eyes.

 

"What?"

 

"The photographer. Lee Kihyun, I had already realized that you were going through those surroundings, my assistant lives there. She saw you exchanging kisses on the street."

 

"What?! This can only be a joke!" My mother got up and I did the same.

 

"Mom ... This isn't a joke! I ... I love Kihyun, it's with him that I want to get married, raise a family! I don't care if he doesn't have important parents or business, all I care about is that he makes me happy and ... "

 

I was silenced by the hand of my mother, the same hitting my face hard and I staggered.

 

"I didn't take so long finding a perfect bride for you to ruin everything now, Hyunwoo." She spoke between her teeth and I stared at her wearily.

 

"I'm not getting married, Mother. I'm so sorry."

 

"You will ... You will marry Sohyun. If you insist on this folly I'm going to destroy this Lee Kihyun. I have my contacts, I can ask them to kick him out of the building, I will not strain until I see your stupid boyfriend at the end of the pit begging for alms on a street!" She screamed and I swallowed hard, not knowing what to do.

 

"Mother..."

 

"No mother! You ruined everything! We know what's best for you! You will find this boy today and break up, then go out to dinner with your fiancé and say that you want to advance the wedding! That's how it's going to be, Hyunwoo. Don't you dare to contradict me, you understand? "

 

I felt my stomach sink and once again I found myself being that little boy who obeyed his mother at all.

 

What am I going to do? I don't want to get married, I love Kihyun and I can't give it up because my mother wants to decide my life, but at the same time I have no right to ruin his life, to take everything he has conquered with so much effort.

 

"You got it?"

 

"...Yes mom."

 

"Fine, now go, solve this before I need to do it myself."

 

_________________

 

I thought a lot about what to do, so I decided it would be best to break up, Kihyun will hate me, but at least I know he will continue his career and that he will forget me when he finds someone who really deserves him.

 

I called him and asked to wait for me in the studio, he said that he already intended to stay to work late and I went straight there, already telling in my mind everything I'll say and mainly prepared to take be kicked out agressivily.

 

I pressed the studio bell, but I raised my eyebrow to see the open gate, then stepped in and blinked in surprise.

 

I expected everything but that.

 

The studio light is low, I saw the pizza boxes on the table in a corner and also the glasses and the wine, Kihyun appeared and smiled at me, coming towards me and kissing me.

 

What did I feel? Fault. The burden of guilt was unbearable, he tried so hard for me and I came here thinking about how to end it.

 

"It's not an expensive dinner, but it was the best I could improvise around here." He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist. "My brother and Hyungwon are home, so I thought we could spend the night here."

 

He nodded and I swallowed.

 

"Wow ... You did it," I murmured and he smiled, but then he looked at me confused.

 

"Did you like it?" He asked and I gasped.

 

"Ah? Of course ... it's obvious that I liked it." I smiled slightly, holding his face in my hands. "I just ... I don't know if I deserve all this." I said and Kihyun raised an eyebrow.

 

"Why are you saying that?" He asked confused and I shook my head.

 

"Nothing ... nothing." I mumbled, kissing him long. "I love you. You know that right? "

 

Kihyun stared at me and I saw the worry in his eyes, so he nodded.

 

"Yeah, I know. Love you too."

 

I waved lightly, hugging him tightly.

 

No ... I can't, I can't break up with him, it would be unfair and I don't feel prepared to give up Kihyun, not now.

 

"Let's just enjoy it okay?" I asked and he nodded, then we kissed again and I was pushing him to the comfortable sofa in the studio.

 

I just want to be with him, nothing else matters.

 

_________________

 

**[ Minhyuk POV ]**

 

I entered the apartment like a cat, a half-drunk cat, but a cat. I closed the door and locked it, took off my shoes and went bare foot to reach the hall of the rooms, laughing every time you stumble alone.

 

Kihyun isn't at home, Hyungwon is sleeping and I'm drunk.

 

Those beers did not go very well, I should not have heard Jungkook when he asked to buy a crate before we left after the rehearsals, I do not even want to imagine what he's going to do with Taehyung in that place, I just hope they clean it up afterwards.

 

I thought about going to sleep in my room, but I don't want to feel alone, nothing better than a warm body to comfort all my sorrows and the only hot body at the moment is Hyungwon.

 

I went into his room and went slowly to his bed, pulling his covers until I could get under them and he didn't wake up, he continued to sleep like a stone. I tucked the covers over the two of us once again, wrapping my arm around his waist and then snuggling closer. I leaned my face against the curve of his neck, Hyungwon never liked strong perfumes, I used to say in adolescence that he smelled like duvet he slept, but he always had the habit of taking a shower before going to bed and I loved sleeping with him.

 

I took a deep breath against his skin, sighing softly, but apparently it woke him up and he moved on the bed, staring at me groggily.

 

"Min...Hyuk?" He asked and I smiled. "What are you doing here?" He rubbed his eyes, trying to move to get his glasses on the headboard, but it didn't work out very well and I just smiled more.

 

"I came to sleep with you. Like before ... I missed your little smell of soap." I mumbled and he raised his eyebrow.

 

"Are you drunk?" He asked and I laughed.

 

"A little ... Just a little bit." I signaled with his hand and he steadied himself on the elbow, staring at me and lighting the lamp. "Are you going to send me away?"

 

I asked and he shook his head and managed to get the glasses.

 

"You should have coffee."

 

"I do not want coffee, I want you." I smiled mischievously and he blinked slowly, so I pulled the his pajama's shirt and hugged him tightly. "Only you, just mine, mineee ~" I said and he gasped nervously.

 

"M-Minhyuk, seriously ... You're not okay and ..."

 

"Shhh ... just stay with me ... You don't know how much I missed you ... I felt so alone when you left." I spoke down and he swallowed. "I didn't want you to go ... Whenever the months were up I hoped you'd come back to me, but you never came back." I sighed then.

 

There was a moment of silence and I stepped away a bit, staring at him closely.

 

"I love you." I said, kissing his neck fondly and he gasped. "I really love you, Wonnie."

 

"He-Hey ... Minhyuk ... Let's go to the kitchen and you have some coffee, okay?" He asked and I shook my head.

 

"Why the people I love don't want me? What's wrong with me?" I asked more seriously and he blinked, almost panicked. "I must be ... Horrible." I murmured and he shook his head.

 

"How can you say that? You're amazing, Minhyuk ... Amazing. "

 

"Uh-huh ... I'm not ... If I were, you ..." I shut up, staring him in the eye. "Never mind." I mumbled and he swallowed. "Sorry ... It was bullshit coming here."

 

"N-No, stay ... Stay here with me," Hyungwon asked and I smiled lightly, steadied myself on the mattress as well and bringing my face closer to his.

 

Hyungwon froze, he stared at me with wide eyes, slow breathing, lips parted. God, how I wanted to kiss those lips.

 

I tried to kiss him, I swear I tried, but then he grabbed my face and pushed me lightly, it was light, but I felt as if he had kicked me of his life.

 

"What you..."

 

I stared at him in silence, so hurt, I waited for a little understanding, but nothing but confusion came from him.

 

Hyungwon really feels nothing but friendship for me and it hurts too much.

 

"I'm sorry." I pushed his hand lightly, sitting down on the bed next. "I'm going to my room."

 

"M-Minhyuk! Wait."

 

"No ... Forget it, okay? I'm sorry for waking you up." I said, feeling my vision blur with the urge to cry, so I got out of bed and headed for the door. "Good night."

 

Said without looking at him, ignoring his requests to return.

 

I've ruined everything ... Now it's more than clear that he doesn't want me and I feel so pathetic for trying, I'm nothing close to Hoseok, I'm not strong like him, handsome like him, Hyungwon would never look at me , I'm just this dumb kid who's been waiting for a chance to be loved since childhood.

 

I let out a low sob, throwing myself on the bed.

 

Crying is all that's left for me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for my late, translate everything takes me some time because I have to write some parts again and it took me some hours more.
> 
> Oh god it was so hard for me to write this chapter, better saying, translate this chapter for english. 
> 
> My poor baby, make him suffer is so sad, I wanted to cry with him.
> 
> Hope you all can understand my english.


	7. Chapter VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys likes. <3

**[ Hyungwon POV ]**

I could not sleep all night after Minhyuk left my room; I heard him crying at dawn and felt so guilty that I almost cried with him.

What really happened? He was drunk, that was clear, but ... Why come to my room? And why say those things like 'I love you' and also 'Why don't the people I love look at me? What is wrong with me?'? Of course I love him as well, ever since I've known him, he's been by my side, we've been all the time dividing comics, playing video games, watching horror movies at night, and sleeping together because we're scared... There is nothing wrong with him, anyone could easily love him, but why me?

I didn't bear all this doubts; I got up and realized Kihyun didn't come home, but that doesn't matter, at the moment all I care about is Minhyuk.

I went to his room and knocked on the door, waiting for a few seconds and there wasn't answer, but I heard footsteps, then I turned the knob and luckily it was open.

"Minhyuk?" I called for him, watching him sit on the bed still in his robe, his wet red hair and the good smell of post-bath lotion taking over the room.

He stared at me and made a sign to enter, frowning in pain as I closed the door, even the sound being low.

"Are you okay?" I asked worried and he took a pain medication. "Yesterday you went to my room and ... Well, I was worried." I said slowly, I don't know if he remembers what happened, drunks are usually quite sincere and I want to understand everything he told me.

"I'm sorry if I woke you, I get unbearable when I'm drunk." He spoke and I went to sit next to him, then there was a moment of silence and that anguished expression didn't disappear from his face, I know Minhyuk like the palm of my hand and whenever he is sad or angry he closes his face and walks away, it's almost like an automatic reaction.

"You..."

"Did I say something yesterday? Some bullshit? "He asked and I did not know what to say. I don't know if Minhyuk really forgot or just doesn't want to touch the subject, his expression says he knows what he did last night, but he doesn't seem want to talk about it.

It took me only thirty seconds to open my mouth and speak, but in the meantime my head started to run at enormous speed, what if he wants to close the subject? I want to know what Minhyuk has to say, but I don't want to disturb him either, what decision do I make at such a time like this?!

"No, you didn' say any bullshit." I replied and he nodded slowly. "You were just... needy, I guess." I said and he looked away.

"I know, sorry."

"Hey, stop thar ok? I get really worst when drunk." I said, trying to make Minhyuk smile, but didn't worked. "Minhyuk?"

I called him and he stared at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked and he continued to stare at me in silence, waving. "You know I'm your friend, don't you? I ... I'm here if you need to talk. I love you, no one will ever take your place for me." I murmured and he was silent, staring at me without even blinking, but his wrists were closed like iron.

"... I know." It was all he answered, then there was another moment of silence. "Can you let me alone? I will change and go rehearse with the rest of the group, the show is today." He asked and I felt uncomfortable because never in life Minhyuk asked me to leave the room so this request sounded more like an attempt to be alone.

I waved slowly, getting up from the bed and going to the door, then I glanced at him over my shoulder and he continued with brown eyes fixed to the floor. I suppressed a sigh, leaving the room next.  
   
He's sad ... Really sad.

What am I going to do now?

_________________

**[ Kihyun POV ]**

"I'm enjoying having you here, but you need to go." I said and Shownu chuckled, sitting on the couch and beginning to look for the clothes. "I still have to clean everything, I have a customer in an hour and a half." I commented as I finished getting dressed and grabbed the tie he was wearing yesterday, hanging from one of my lamps.

I went to him, sitting beside him on the sofa.

"She's going to do a rehearsal to tell the fiance she's pregnant, I love making that kind of picture." I nodded and he smiled, wrapping his arm around my waist in a half-hug.

"Lucky guy, I always wanted to be a dad." Hyunwoo commented and I stared at him. "I want to have a football team." He spoke and we laughed.

"A soccer team? Wow. I want a girl." I nodded sincerely.

I was silent for a few seconds, reflecting a little. I always wanted to get married, Minhyuk liked to play with me by saying that I am the type of person who would live in a white fence house with a rope swing in the backyard tree; It may sound silly, but it's a personal dream, I want to have a family and I would like to fulfill all those dreams with Hyunwoo.

The problem is that he doesn't seem to want the same, since we never talk about these things.

"Ki?" He called me and I turned toward him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Sorry, I'm just thinking..." I laughed a little. "It's just ... I wonder what she feels with this news, this anxiety about telling the fiance... It must be good." I nodded slowly.

There was a moment of silence, then he kissed my temple and I stared at him.

"I love you." He said and I smiled lightly.

"Me too."

Shownu kissed me and retributed, just one kiss, so he pulled away and started to get dressed.

We had a good time yesterday, I feel complete with it, no matter how clichéd it may be, but there's a kind of sensation in my chest that keeps telling me there's something very wrong going on.

I let out a low sigh, getting up and pulling the thick blanket off the couch, where we slept last night.

Maybe he doesn't want to have a family with me and this idea scares me.

It's best to let it go, I need to focus on my work by the hour.

_________________

Sohyun arrived in the studio a little late, but nothing exorbitant, so we talked a bit and I photographed her. I couldn't help noticing how happy she is, there's a huge glow in her eyes and the photos are perfect; I made tea for us and we sat down to talk.

"You look happy," I said and she smiled.

"A lot, you have no idea ... It's a dream, my fiancé is not very present, but I know that with this news we will advance the marriage and choose a new place to live. Oh! I want you to be the photographer, your work is amazing, my friends were right." Sohyun said and I smiled.

"Thank you, I'll be happy to be there." I nodded, taking a sip of the tea. "But so far I haven't asked what's your fiance's name." I said thoughtfully.

"Hyunwoo. Son Hyunwoo, you must meet his family, they own a lot of companies, and they are starting to invest in a hotel chain." Sohyun replied and I almost dropped the tea cup because I did not believe what I heard.

"Son... Hyunwoo...?" I asked, my voice trembled, I felt a shiver just at the thought of being my Shownu, it may be just the same name, it's not possible that he was with me for so long and at the same time her fiancé.

"Yes, do you know him? I'll show you a picture." She smiled and pulled the cell phone, my stomach wrapped with the wait, so she handed it to me and I felt I was going to vomit just from seeing the photo.

It's... Shownu. They're both at a gala party, I know because I was the one who helped him choose the costume for the night, he said he was going to a company party and I was so foolish to believe it. He deceived me all this time, probably went out with her and then came to see me.

How could he?

"Kihyun?" She called me and I felt my eyes burn, so I let out a chuckle that went a little bitter unintentionally, but it was stronger than I was. "He is not handsome? Hyunwoo will be so happy when I send these pictures to the publisher, it will be such a surprise. "

I returned the cell phone, my breath catching in my chest, I wanted to kick her out of my studio and scream at her, but it would be wrong. Sohyun does not seem to know that the groom has a 'lover', she's pregnant, she'll give Shownu every damn football team he wants, I felt so stupid for having dreamed like a little girl.

"He'll love it ..." I said in a low voice. "I'll reveal the photos and send them as soon as possible."

"Thank you, Kihyun! I need to go, we talk later." She squeezed my hand and I nodded, going to the door and opening. "Bye!"

"Bye." I smirked, then waited for her to leave and pick up the elevator, leaning against the door slowly. "... Fiancé, father ..." I laughed, I laughed because I felt so betrayed and frustrated that this was the only reaction I could get.

I watched the ring on my finger, pulling it hard, then opened the window of the building and threw it down, feeling the tears rolling down my face.

"You fucking... Liar..."

_________________

**[ Minhyuk POV ]**

I called Kihyun several times but he did not answer, so I came to the conclusion that he is busy working; It's hard to finally realize that the person you love does not reciprocate their feelings, but it's also not surprising and whining for the rest of my life isn't the solution to my problems either. I arrived early in the practice room to be able to clean, Kookie and Tae left a mess yesterday, so I organized everything and was selecting the songs when I heard the knocking on the door.

"Come in." I said, not looking away from my cellphone, then I heard footsteps, and when I looked over my shoulder I came face to face with Hoseok. "Oh. You."

"Hi, am I disturbing you?" He asked and I shook my head.

"No, come in."

Wonho nodded and I know he want something just for his expression. I've always been good at reading people, I know he's not to blame for my bad mood, but it's stronger when you get rejected and when you have a horrible headache.

"Are you okay?" He asked and I raised my eyebrow. "Hyungwon called me and said he thought you were mad at him. I thought ... Maybe you want to talk." Hoseok commented and I sighed.

I went to him, so we sat on the floor and he looked at me worriedly.

"I drank too much yesterday... It was stupid." I sighed quietly. "So I went home and uncontrollably tried to stay in bed with him, kiss him." I rubbed my eyes and Wonho blinked in surprise but sighed. "He pushed me, obviously. That's it ... I wasn't surprised, but it hurt. "

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, yeah ... But it was good in part." I waved and he raised an eyebrow. "I had a very stupid little part of me that had hope ... I thought that if I tried, it would work. Well, now it's over. I convinced myself that he doesn't want anything with me, so I think it's time to move on." I smiled slightly.

"He was really worried ... Wonnie is slow, he may have just been scared and ..."

"He likes you. He would never look at me." The words slipped out of my mouth and only then did I realize the shit I did.

"...What?"

"Shit ... I shouldn't have said it."

"Wait, are you serious?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yeah ... I shouldn't have said it, it's none of my business..." I sighed. "He has liked you since we were teenagers. I always knew he wouldn't look at me because ... Well, just look at me and look at you. "

Wonho continued in shock and I looked away. It was wrong to tell, but it was unintentionally, but maybe so Hyungwon had more chances with him.

"I never knew."

"Yeah, we know. I admit that I was jealous for a long time, but it's not your fault he would never look at me and ... I always thought you liked him back, so... Yeah, that's all." I said and he stared at me, not knowing what to say .

"I... Oh man..."

"I'll just ask one thing." I said and he looked up at me. "If you stay with him someday... Don't hurt Hyungwon, make him happy." I smiled softly, though defeated. "After all, I just want him to be happy."

"I would never do that to you."

"Forget what I told you about liking him, Hoseok. It doesn't matter, he don't love me, he loves you, so if he's happy, I'm happy. "

He became more and more nervous and then Taehyung came in with Jungkook and they both smiled.

"Hey, sorry for the delay, the rest of the guys are coming up." Tae said and I nodded, then got up and Hoseok did the same.

"Forget it, ok?"

"See you other time." He said and I nodded, then Wonho left and Tae stared at me.

"Is everything okay here?"

"Yeah. Now take those dirty clothes that are in the bathroom to your house." I pointed and he laughed awkwardly.

"Ehe, sorry Minhyuk." He said and ran, then I stared at Kookie.

"He insisted."

"Yeah, of course."

_________________

I decided to go see Kihyun; I was worried, he didn't answer my calls, he ignored my messages, he couldn't be working for so long and when I called Shownu he said he wasn't with him but at work. I heard the hiccups outside, which made me even more worried, so I hurried in and was surprised to see him leaning over the studio table, crying like a small child.

Kihyun and I have always been close to our own way, even fighting a lot he has always solving my problens, always strong and willing to protect his friends and family with everything he has.

I've never seen my brother cry, at least I've never seen him cry like this.

"Kihyun!" I ran up to him, touching his shoulders. "Hey, look at me, what happened?!" I asked worriedly and he sobbed a few more times, but he clapped his hands on the table hard enough to knock down a vase of flowers on it.

"He... lied to me, Minhyuk... The bastard is going to get married, the bride is pregnant!" He stared at me and my mouth dropt.

"What? Wait, what are you talking about?" I asked confused.

"Hyunwoo ... He's engaged, and his damn fiancé came here to do photos to tell him she's pregnant! She was here... Telling me how they were going to choose a new apartment! How he would cease to be absent after this news!" Kihyun stood up and I took a step back, somewhat frightened. "And she doesn't even think that when he was away, it was because he was with me!" He shouted and I gasped. "The lover ... That's what I am to him... A damn lover."

I couldn't believe everything I heard. I always thought he hided something from my brother, but I never imagined that it was something so serious. A pregnant bride? This is definitely worse than any lie.

"I-I'm sorry, Ki." I said low and he took a deep breath, wiping his face hard.

"I was so stupid, Minhyuk ... I believed him, I prepared him a surprise yesterday! He said that he loved me, that I was everything to him, but it's all a lie! It's such a big lie that it angers me! Hyunwoo just used me and I feel even more stupid to let it hurt me so much! "

"Calm down, you're going to be sick if you continue like this ..."

"I don't want to calm down! I want to ... I want to finish him, I want to hear the truth from his mouth and that's what I'm going to do now. "

Kihyun pulled the bag and I don't know what to do.

"Hey, Kihyun! Wait, you can't drive like that! "I insisted, and he pulled out a brown envelope.

"I don't care, I just want to hear what excuse he's going to give me now!" He spoke without listening and I had no choice but to leave the studio and follow him.

Things just get harder and harder ...

_________________

Kihyun is out of control.

I have seen him angry several times, his personality is naturally difficult, but I have never seen him in this level of fury. Whatever he's gonna do to Shownu, is going to be cruel, but that asshole deserves everything and more.

We got out of the car in front of the apartment he shares with Hoseok and I wondered if he knew what his best friend was hiding. Hoseok has known Kihyun since the time he met me, if he was able to hide something so important he will pay too.

We picked up the elevator and Kihyun stepped out of it, practically marching in fury toward Shownu's apartment, then he pressed the doorbell several times and the door opened.

"Kihyun?" Wonho asked, but was violently pushed off the path and my brother came in; I only had time to follow him, witnessing the moment Shownu got up from the couch and was hit by a slap.

"You fucking liar!" Kihyun shouted and I pulled him.

"Hey, Ki!"

"Let go of me, Minhyuk! Let me go, he deserves so much more than a slap! "He pushed me and I gasped as I fell on the arm of the couch.

"Kihyun, wait, what you ..." Shownu even tried to speak, but Kihyun took the pictures from inside the envelope and threw it in his face, which made him gasp and look at them still half shocked. "W-What?"

"Congratulations, Daddy." My brother said with irony and bitterness. "But don't worry. You will receive these pictures from your fiancé's hands..." He murmured and I just watched them both. Shownu's eyes widened and he stared at Kihyun. "How long were you going to keep this farce? Or ... Or better! When were you going to kick me to live your perfect life?! "

"Kihyun, listen ..."

"No! It's you who will listen! I ... I never understood when you disappeared ... I kept wondering if it was something wrong with me, if I was not good enough for you and why you never introduced me to your family! When you already know practically all of mine, but now ... Now I know, I know and I finally understand ... You couldn't present your lover, did you? Your little toy!" He shot the rest of the pictures at Shownu, who seems more paralyzed.

"It's not like that ... I don't want to get married, I was going to stop it, but my parents were threatening you and..."

"And you'll still trying to blame me?!" Kihyun asked altered and laughed. "You used me! I ... I dreamed about the day we were going to have our house, our children! And I always wondered why you didn't touch the subject or ran away when I tried, but now it all makes sense Shownu! All! You didn't talk about children or marriage because I'm just your little toy, the asshole who ... who stays organizing the studio just to surprise you or to cook for you..."

"This is not true! I love you, just try to understand me Kihyun my life isn't easy! I want you, I want to be with you, I know that I've made mistakes and there are no words to ask for forgiveness, but..."

"I DON'T WANT YOUR FORGIVENESS!" Kihyun cried out and sobbed, so I patted him by the shoulders. "I want ... That you go to hell ... That's what I want, never again in your life appears in front of me, you have a lot of responsibilities from now on. Go live with your fiancée, with the owner of a huge network of hotels, after all she deserves you, you can have your house with white fence and play family with her, because that's enough for me. "

"Kihyun, wait! Listen to me, I'll explain everything and..."

I pushed him hard when he tried to pull my brother.

"Stay away from my brother. Isn't enough all you've done?" I asked, shaking my head, but then Kihyun turned to Wonho.

"Did you know that?" He asked, and I stared at him as well.

Wonho looked away, then Kihyun shook his head and left the apartment.

"You're worse than him," I said and Hoseok came toward me.

"Let me explain ..." He tried, but it was my turn to slap his face and walk out the door behind Kihyun.

"Ki, wait!" I ran to the elevator.

I've never seen him like this, but I understand. Being cheated so coldly is cruel, Shownu is worse than any man we have ever met.

_________________

**[Hyungwon POV]**

I tried to call Minhyuk about ten times; Jooheon asked me if I saw him when I arrived at the nightclub and I had to shake my head in denial. I called him, Kihyun, but neither of them picked me up and started worrying.

Did something happen? It isn't normal for Minhyuk to leave friends waiting, Jooheon made a point of saying it in my face.

The rest of the Minhyuk dance group appeared and said he called and apologized to Jooheon but had an urgent family matter. I didn't understand well, but as the nightclub was about to open I didn't have many choices. Everything went well, the boys show was incredible and the people seemed to love my music. The night was long, but I got out before dawn.

I checked my cell phone to see if Minhyuk answered any of my messages, but I didn't receive anything, so I sighed.

"Damn it, Minhyuk. What happened?"

"I think I fucked up." I heard Hoseok's voice and jumped, almost knocking the phone down in a can of water from the alley.

"You almost killed me from the heart!" Said angrily and he sighed, then I noticed his expression of guilt. "What happened?"

"Can we have something to eat?" Hoseok asked and I raised my eyebrows, but I nodded.

We found a snack bar open and decided to grab something, I'm also hungry despite the time, so we ordered a burger and soda, then Wonho start talking.

"Kihyun descovered."

"Your friend's lie? That lie you knew, of course." I said and he looked at me in surprise. "You're obvious. I knew you were hiding something important." I shrugged and he sighed.

"Shownu was engaged." He said and I narrowed my eyes, I didn't expect that. "His family has money, is very traditional ... Shownu always knew that one day they would pick a bride for him, but he was hoping to find someone else before his parents could do it." He sighed and I shook my head.

"I knew he was hiding something, but this...?" I asked and Wonho took a sip of the soda. "And did you know? Why didn't you tell Kihyun? "I asked again, puzzled, and Hoseok ran a hand over his face.

"I wanted to tell him, but Hyunwoo promised he would solve this before Kihyun found out. He begged, he said he would cancel the wedding... I believed. In spite of everything he loves Kihyun a lot. "

"Yeah, but now you screwed up with him."

"And I took a slap, I had forgotten how Minhyuk has strength." He sighed and I leaned my chin against his hand. "And you? Did you talk to him today? "He asked and I stared at the soda.

"No, he refused to answer me. I don't think he want to talk to me, or maybe he's with Kihyun all day." I said in dismay. "I think I screwed up, you know? But I'm confused, maybe he was drunk and confused me with someone else." I mumbled and he was silent. "Anyway I upset him and I don't know how to apologize."

"Hey, don't be like that. Minhyuk loves you, just invites him out and talk, it's going to be all right." He smiled and I weakly reciprocated.

"Yeah, maybe... I need to be a good friend, you know? Minhyuk deserves it." I mumbled again.

I hope things are ok at home, _especially Kihyun_.


	8. Chapter VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys likes.

**[ Hyungwon POV ]**

When I got home at dawn Kihyun and Minhyuk were already in their proper rooms; My agent called and said that he needed to talk to me about such an early meeting and it was it who made me wake up and take a shower to get ready. When I arrived in the kitchen I could hear part of Kihyun's conversation on the phone.

"I know ... I'm sorry Miss Sohyun, but I promise I'll send a photographer to your wedding. You and your ... Your fiancé can rest easy, I'll reveal the pictures today and I'll take it to your hotel." He said and I preferred to remain silent, it took a few more minutes and Kihyun finally hung up the cell phone, so I went to the the kitchen after getting a glass of soda and sat facing him.

"Bad day, huh?" I asked and he sighed, his eyes's still red and it was so strange for me to see him like this. The Kihyun I know would have beaten Shownu because he cheated on him, but apparently love really changes people a bit.

"Awful." He smiled lightly, his face pressed into the palm of his hand. "You should have a decent cup of coffee." He spoke and I smiled lightly.

"How are you?" I asked worriedly.

"I will be fine. Well, it's not the end of the world, I won't let that asshole take me down." He nodded and I smiled lightly, although I know that this is partly a lie just by his tone of voice. "Just ... Maybe I'm going to travel for a few days. Go back to Daegu, see my parents, I think I need a few days off." He said and I nodded.

"I understand."

"I'll go with you." We both freaked out when Minhyuk appeared out of nowhere in the kitchen. "Lay called me, said he opened a dance studio there and invited me to meet, a few days ago, but if you go ... Can I accompany you?" He asked and Kihyun nodded.

"Do you want to come with us?" He asked me and I blinked in surprise.

"Oh ... No thanks, Kihyun, but I have work as a model and will also play at the club in show nights." I explained, even if it is just an excuse, in fact both need this time with their family, I'm not gonna fuck this up.

"I know, if you want, can come with us." Kihyun smiled and Minhyuk poured himself coffee, taking the place of Kihyun when he raised. "I will address some things in the studio, make coffee and eat something." He said and I nodded slowly.

"Yes, Mom." I smiled slightly and he took his things, leaving the apartment, so I turned to Minhyuk and smiled at him.

There was a moment of silence, until he finally looked away, and I felt that heavy weather again, a strange climate that had never been between us.

"Am I still your best friend?" I asked and he looked at me in surprise. "The best of all?" I smiled faintly and Minhyuk looked even more surprised that I remembered what he had told me when we were little. Only two little boys who loved and had fun together without any problem.

"W-What? Of course you are." He said without thinking and I felt immense relief for it, after all I always know when Minhyuk lies.

"Then why don't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"What has bothering you." I shrugged.

"... It's nothing." He said and that's where I spotted a lie, because Minhyuk can never face the person he's lying to, he's been like that since he was very young.

"You're a bad liar." I smiled slightly, a little annoyed, but it's not in my power to force him to tell me things.

Minhyuk stared at me uncertainly, I saw the doubt in his eyes, then opened his mouth to speak and when I thought I would receive a decent answer, my cell phone began to ring. I got scared in the chair, feeling it in my pocket, then Minhyuk gave a restrained smile.

"Go on, pick up."

"It's probably nothing important." I said with certainty and he shook his head, I was in doubt, but I sighed. "I'll just see who it is." I said and he nodded.

I pulled the phone from my pocket and stared at my agent's name. I am aware that this is my only chance to get the truth out of Minhyuk, but it also has my work and if I miss or delayed again I will be in serious trouble.

He seemed to notice my uneasiness and said.

"Answer, it seems important."

"I ... Hm ... Damn, it's my agent, it's fast okay?" I asked and he nodded, then got up and left the kitchen for more privacy.

It took me about five minutes on the phone, but when I got back to the kitchen Minhyuk was gone and when I looked for the house I didn't find him either, which made me sigh heavily and curse my agent for having fucked things up.

The best opportunity in days to talk to my best friend was failed.

I let out a heavy sigh, so I decided get ready to leave.

_________________

I attended all my appointments in the morning and at eleven o'clock Hoseok called me and invited me to lunch, I even tried to talk to Minhyuk before confirming with him, but the cell phone was in the mailbox, so I accepted his invitation and we met in front of the lamen restaurant he loves; an addiction I personally don't understand, but patience.

"Sorry for the delay, the photos were late." I said and he smiled.

"Alright, it's work, I understand. Now let's eat? I'm so hungry." Hoseok commented and I nodded, then we walked into the restaurant and picked a table by the window, as the counters were full. "How's Kihyun?" He asked and I shrugged.

"Ok, I guess."

"I hope one day he can forgive me." Hoseok commented and I was distracted by the menu when I saw him focus on something. "Isn't Minhyuk there?" He asked and pointed out the window, then I faced the direction he said and blinked in confirmation that is Minhyuk.

"Yeah, you want to invite him to eat with us?" I suggested, but then I saw a car stop on the sidewalk and Jooheon stepped out of it, which made me became serious, so Minhyuk hugged him tightly and for too much time, saying something very closely and then getting into the car next to him. "I don't think so." Said bitterly, and Hoseok raised an eyebrow.

"You okt?"

"Yeah, I think Minhyuk has Jooheon now, he doesn't need me anymore." I said bitterly and Hoseok laughed.

"Hey, relax, Minhyuk's thing with Jooheon is other."

"Is this supposed to make me feel better?" I asked, puzzled and he chuckled.

"Let's just have lunch, okay? Then we can go out, watch a movie and mend a barbecue outside." Wonho suggested, and on other occasions I would be silly for being able to have him all day just for me, but for some reason now that doesn't seem priority to me; Still I nodded slowly, it will be good to distract me.

"OK. Count me in." I smiled slightly and he returned cheerfully.

Minhyuk is very busy with Jooheon, whether or not I hang out with Wonho he won't mind.

_________________

**[ Kihyun POV ]**

I asked a friend of mine to take the pictures to Sohyun, I can't look at her, it's stronger than me; I need some time for myself, maybe spending a week or two at my parents' house help me relax, review my family and my childhood friends, I think I need this.

I was closing the studio completely when I heard the bell, so I went to the door and regretted to open it, because I came face to face with Hyunwoo.

I closed the door at once, he even tried to stop me, but I had enough time to lock it.

"I know I'm the last person you want to see, I just ask you to listen to me, Kihyun." He asked, and I sighned, breathing deeply and pressing my forehead against the door; I didn't answer his request, I just waited. "I'll take that as a yes. I know I was wrong, I know ... There aren't enough words to apologize for what I did, but I never used you Kihyun. All I said about loving you is true, I love you damn. "

"Stop lying ..." I begged, I almost begged, because I can no longer hear these absurdities.

"It's not a lie. I always followed my life the way my mother arranged for me, I never wanted to take care of the publisher, not even marry, but she always said that she knew the best for me and from cowardice I never said no to her orders. Until I met you, everything was fine, bad or good, my life was comfortable and stable, I didn't have to worry about anything. So you came into my life and ... I realized how much I was losing being controlled by them. "

He spoke and I swallowed hard, closing my eyes tightly.

"It was instantaneous, I fell in love with you and your strong personality, at first I thought that it would be only one or two encounters, but then we started dating, in the meantime I already knew Sohyun and my parents tried to push me towards her, but I didn't give much atention to it, then a few months they armed the engagement without warning me. I missed the opportunity to finish it, I had several, but I didn't have the courage ... And when I say finish, it wasn't our relationship but the supposed engagement I had with her. "

"You were too busy playing with me ... But I understand. Your fiancé is rich and influential, with me you only had a passionate idiot who did everything for you, pathetic things as dinner ... There is no competition, close to your marriage to her, your life with me was miserable." He tried to open the door again.

"Don't think of saying that ... You're everything I ever wanted, Ki. I love you ... But I didn't have the attitude to face my family and when I finally created the courage to say everything to Sohyun, you showed up in my apartment yesterday with the photos. I had already called her to a dinner to finish it all. "

"I don't believe you."

"I know that, but I have no reason to lie now. I'm terrified ... My life has changed so fast, I've lost you, my parents have advanced the marriage and she appears pregnant, it's difficult for me too. "

"So you should have thought before you slept with her ... Didn't you say you met her when you were with me? You even betrayed me ... betrayed me and impregnated that woman." I slammed my hands against the door.

"It was one night that I drank too much, I did not want to-"

"You didn't wanted, but it did! That's what you don't understand! Nothing you say now will change the situation, because you've done it wrong from the beginning ... You lied to me, betrayed me, impregnated that girl and deceived me about it all. Now you come into my studio with all those damn excuses!" I slammed my hands against the door again. "I want you to go to hell with your fiancée and your perfect life, the only person I don't want badly is this child, because he or she doesn't have fault for you to be a complete asshole, but at the moment all I want is for you to disappear from my life, I don't want to see you again, if you at least feel respect for me, have the decency to leave and never look for me again."

"Ki, please ..."

"Stop! I ... I-I gave you everything I could, I gave myself completely and all you did was ... Use my love and throw it away. So that's what I'm doing now, I want you to go away, because everything I feel for you now is disgust." I said firmly. "Just go, go and take care of your son, because he does need your care."

He was silent for a few minutes, but sighed and I swallowed.

"Okay, I understand. I know nothing I say is going to change, but I'm sorry for being such an idiot ... I wish you all the good in the world, you deserve it, Kihyun." He said and I felt the tears stream down my face.

"Go away!" I screamed, then I heard the footsteps and the sound of the elevator, which allowed me to breathe right again.

I need to leave, I really need to leave ...

_________________

**[ Minhyuk POV ]**

"I made a decision." I said as the waitress let our plates on the table, then Jooheon stared at me curiously. "I'm going to take control of my life."

"Hm, that sounds good." He smirked. "But what do you mean by _control_?"

"I'm going to give up Hyungwon, start with that." I said, it hurt a little to say, but I feel that just uttering the words helps to realize that desire. "I think ... I've been waiting a long time, you know? I had a dumb hope alive inside of me, waiting for a chance with him, but when my brother and Shownu were finished I kept thinking ... I'm waiting so long, losing my life, for something that will never work." I smiled a little.

"It's never too late to move on." Jooheon smiled and I did the same.

"Yeah, I think so. I'm going to travel for some days with my brother, go see my parents and visit some friends." I thought for a few seconds. "When I get back ... New life. Maybe even look for an apartment." I rubbed my chin.

"It's good to see you optimistic." He said and I chuckled.

"It has to be, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. It's your friend who lost." He commented and I chuckled.

"Nah, he's too good for me." I stuck a fried potato in his mouth. "But Hoseok will take care of him, Wonnie will be happy ... And who knows, I'll find someone." I said thoughtfully. "All I hope is that my brother stay well, he is very annoyed and not for less."

"This time out will do you two good, Kihyun will move on, he is strong."

I nodded slowly, staring at the burger. Hyungwon is an incredible person and I love him, but if I waits for a chance to be noticed, I think I will spend my whole life waiting, totally alone. That thought may seem dramatic, but I need to accept it, so it will all get easier.

Hyungwon being happy is all that matters.

_________________

Jooheon agreed to hire my dance group while I'm away and I felt more comfortable knowing that the boys will be busy, without depending on me, Jungkook is great at what he does and will take over until I return, so I can rest easy in that short period on vacation. I was packing my bag when I heard the knock on the door, looked over my shoulder and smiled as I saw Hyungwon standing in the doorway.

"Hi, are you busy?" He asked and I shook my head. "I brought hot chocolate."

I raised my eyebrows, chuckling.

"You did?" I asked laughing and he shook his head,

"Of course not. Your brother did. "He replied and we laughed, so he came in and we sat on the bed, the sweet smell of chocolate making my stomach snore.

I took a sip of it, releasing a sound of satisfaction, so I stared at it.

"I saw you today ... getting into your friend's car, Jooheon." Wonnie said and I blinked in surprise. "I even thought about calling you, but you two left so fast."

"Ah ... Sorry, I wanted to apologize to him for missing the show." I explained and he nodded. "Are you sure you don't want to go with us? You can go with me to see Lay's studio, review your parents." I suggested, and he shook his head.

"I wanted to, but if I don't stick to my contracts my agent will kill me." He mumbled. "Plus it's a family trip, I'll wait for you here, but if you want to give me a present I'm accepting." Hyungwon spoke and I laughed, hitting his arm as he sat across from me. "Do you remember when we spent hours running like crazys in your yard? Your mother loved it when I went there, so you spent all your energy with me."

I laughed with amusement, taking a long sip of the chocolate and putting the cup on the headboard.

"I was always very energetic and when you didn't go my home, my mother would suffer because I made her run for everything with me, but never had the same grace." I said and he laughed, so I smiled a little more. "I miss this time, where nothing else mattered, life was so much easier." I remarked thoughtfully and he sat down next to me.

"What has changed?" He asked, and I stared at him, leaning against his body, after all this proximity had always existed.

"I don't know, you tell me." I pressed my face to the curve of his neck.

There was a moment of silence, then I looked up at him, meeting the Hyungwon browns eyes.

"I miss you." I murmured and he looked surprised. "Of us, as before... When nothing else mattered but the two of us." I smiled slightly.

"I know I'm not the friend you deserve, but ... nothing has changed between the two of us, at least on my part." Wonnie spoke and I lost myself in the movement of his lips, so pink, I would like to kiss him.

"No, you're still the same. The best." I hugged him tightly, feeling him pull his arm and wrap it around my shoulders to keep me close, only the heat of his body made my chest warm. "When I come back ... We can spend time together, you owe me a lot of things." I patted him on the chest and he laughed.

"Really?"

"Yes. Before you left, you made me write that wish list for you to bring me from China." I looked at him, frowning. "You lost?"

"Oh..."

"You lost!" I laughed and hitted him again. "You know what? I'll make a new one there in Daegu and it will be much worse!" I smile excitedly. "You better saving money, there's a collection of new hats that I've gone crazy to buy."

Said thoughtfully and he let out a sound of tragedy, which made me laugh with amusement.

"I think I'm going to double work these days."

"Good idea." I kissed his face with affection.

We both laughed and walked away.

"Now help me with the suitcase, there's still plenty to do and if I try to rent Kihyun's socks, he'll give me a few slaps." I rolled my eyes and he laughed.

This worth everything to me, to feel him so close is incredible, I hope that when I get back things will be better.

I love you so much Hyungwon... Why don't you look at me?


	9. Chapter IX

**[ Minhyuk POV ]**

The trip to Daegu was quiet, Kihyun spent most of the time quiet and I didn't want to bother him, I spent all the time thinking about how things are at home.

When we got home it was a big party, we missed our parents, they always supported us in our dreams and after a week being pampered and cared for by our mother I realize how much I missed her.

"I know why your brother came here, but you? It's still a mystery." She said and I chuckled. "You never told me about your boyfriends, not to mention all those chocolates you asked me to do, that couldn't be for nothing."

"Do you remember Wonnie?"

"That skinny kid who didn't want to eat vegetables?" She asked and I laughed, waving.

"Yeah. It was for him that I asked for the chocolates." I explained, taking a sip of the juice she made for me. "I aways put in his closet, with secret admirer's tickets, I was so silly." I giggle ashamed.

"It's not silly, I always thought you felt something for that boy." She said and I smiled lightly. "So what's the problem? You are handsome and you are my son, and I know that you can have any guy you want, baby." She spoke and I raised my eyebrow, but I laughed.

"It looks like I've had lots of boyfriends like that." I rolled my eyes and she laughed.

"A few, but I'm your dear mother and I know how things works, that boy had some kind of interest in you." He spoke and I raised my eyebrow again.

"Definitely not, mom."

"Yes, definitely yes. Darling he would spend hours watching you speak with that love look." She said and I laughed. "And I know that face, cause your father looked at me in the same way." He spoke and I stared at her uncertainly. "You should try, maybe Hyungwon doesn't notice, but he has a kind of interest and if you love him so much, risking is the only option you have. My children were not born to give up their romantic interests." She said with conviction and I smiled lightly.

"So... I take a chance?" I asked and she waved, holding my hands.

"Certainly."

I thought for a few seconds, not sure if this is the best option, but my mother knows things and my father is a bit slow as Hyungwon, she always told me how much she had to insist on him to catch him. Maybe this is my chance, if I'm like her, insistently, at least Wonnie can notice me.

I never thought to risk it, but who knows now?

_________________

**[Hyungwon POV]**

Minhyuk has been away for a week, and as much as I knew I would miss him, I didn't think it would be that much. Arriving at home in the silence is horrible, I'm used to finding Minhyuk cursing in the video game or Kihyun fighting with him and me for the dirty dishes, but now every time I came home I'm greeted by a terrible and unpleasant silence.

I decided to go to Hoseok's house for a few days, he said that Shownu is packing things to move and that if I wanted to stay there with him until Kihyun and Minhyuk come back I will be welcome, so obviously I accepted without thinking twice, because in the matter of being noisy he is very much like my best friend.

"So, when are they coming back?" Hoseok asked and I bit the pizza, chewing a little sleepy since I've been busy lately.

"I think next week. Minhyuk called me, I asked him how things were and he seemed more excited, I think this visit was good for him." I said thoughtfully. "Thanks for letting me stay here, that silence was killing me." He laughed.

"I'm glad you came, without Shownu here sucks, I lost my gym partner." Hoseok commented and I glanced at him.

"I won't be your gym partner." I said seriously and he laughed out loud.

"I know! But at least I'm not going to be alone, that's what I mean." He nodded and I went back to eating. "Hey Wonnie, haven't you dated anyone when you were out?" He asked, and I stared at him.

Me and Hoseok have always been close, I've always been in love with him since I was a teenager, but I never thought I would have a chance since he's the kind of guy who gos out with beautiful boys and girls, quite different from me. This week that Minhyuk is out we get a lot closer and that feeling is back, I can't explain, I'm kind of confused because while I enjoy all this time with Hoseok, I miss Minhyuk a lot and I can't wait for him to come home .

"Not much, I worked more than anything else, relationships aren't my speciallities." I commented and he arched his eyebrow. "I went out with one person and another, but it was more to keep the appearance at work than to have fun."

There was a moment of silence and I almost dozed off eating my pizza, but then Wonho decided to open his mouth.

"You know, I've been... thinking and maybe we could go out more times, while Minhyuk don't come home." He suggested and I blinked in surprise, swallowing. "To have fun and spend more time together."

I didn't quite understand what he meant by 'spending more time together,' but the idea struck me as interesting. Spending more time with him is something I always wanted and at the same time the image of Minhyuk came to mind.

_________________

I decided to go home to get some things that are missing, like my notebook and also more clean clothes since washing in Hoseok's apartment with the broken machine is not an option and he wants to collect more clothes before sending them to the laundry. I finished packing my things when I heard the buzzer, so I went to the door and when I opened it I faced Shownu.

I raised my eyebrow lightly, relaxing the weight of my body against the door.

"What do you want here?" I asked and he sighed.

"Is Kihyun home?"

"No, he's not." I replied, and he sighed. "What the heck are you doing? After all you did to him? "

"I know I shouldn't be here, I just ..." Hyunwoo sighed, handing me something, more specifically a keyring with two keys. "It's the keys from here and from the studio that Ki gave me, I think he prefers having it so he don't need to change all the locks. "

"Oh, understood."

Shownu nodded and I frowned slightly.

"Why did you did all this?" I asked.

"What?"

"All that shit." I shrugged. "With Kihyun."

Hyunwoo thought for a few seconds, then smiled in defeat.

"Because I was a coward. I know I barely know you, but ... If it's worth anything, don't be like me, or it may be too late later." He smiled slightly and I narrowed my eyes slightly, but let Hyunwoo go.

Coward ... That should tell me something, I feel it, but what exactly? I wonder.

_________________

**[Kihyun POV]**

I went down the real estate site as I searched for a new place for my studio. After everything that happened I think I need to change my life and I already called a colleague who came to stay with my old studio and will pay a good price for it. It is well located, he will certainly love that place, I will choose something cozier and smaller, maybe do other photography courses and specialize better.

The more I keep my head occupied, the better.

"Hey, Mom said she'll do some sweets for us." Minhyuk came in and I smiled lightly.

"Okay, I'm coming down."

"What are you doing?" He came snooping around and I stared at him, letting him see the notebook. "Properties? Are you intending to move?" He arched a brow and I chuckled.

"I think so ..." I thought for a few seconds. "That studio and apartment are filled with memories of me and Shownu. I can't afford to go back to that place, so ... I thought I'd give it all to your name and Wonnie, so you can have the apartment. A friend of mine will buy the studio, but you two can have the apartment and do whatever you want."

He nodded slowly and I thought for a few seconds.

"I think I'm staying here, I'm going to look for an apartment and open a new studio." I closed the notebook. "So... Do you want the apartment?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, if you don't mind. I talked to mom about Wonnie." He said, and I stared at him.

"And?"

"She said I should insist on, cause Wonnie looks at me with love eyes." He said and we both laughed.

"Well this's truth, then ... Are you going to give up the easy life and fight for your man?" I asked in an ironic tone and he laughed and hitted me.

"Almost this, whitout the dramatic tone." He spoke and I smiled.

"Good, Min-ah. I'm glad to hear that." I nodded truthfully. "I know that if you try he's gonna be yours, Hyungwon is a nerd, but it's not malicious." I grinned. "I know you two are going to be a great couple."

"Thanks, I hope you're right, I just don't know how to try."

I thought for a few seconds, scratching my chin slightly.

"Hm, invite him out, be natural."

"How to be natural without getting on friendzone?"

"Well, you're going to have to be brave and risk it, take him to nightclub, try kissing, it might be a good choice." I shrugged. "Not that I'm an expert on romance, I've already proved that I suck." I twisted my lips and he rolled his eyes.

"Hey, Shownu who was a great asshole, he losted a great guy. Never again in all your life will you hear me say this again." He spoke earnestly and I arched a brow. "You rock, Kihyun. Don't let that fool discourage you. I admire you."

I blinked in surprise at Minhyuk's words; Not that he doesn't praise me, sometimes when my little brother is very inspired he does, but ... For the most part, he isn't the kind that tells me words of encouragement.

"Thank you." I smile then. "Now let's go down and eat, cause the mom's food is really better than mine."

Said and he nodded. Hearing this from Minhyuk already helps, I'm going to control my life and leave Hyunwoo behind, I just think things happen for a reason and in the end, maybe it wouldn't work for both of us.

_________________

I talked to my mom about my plans and she thought it was a good idea. Actually dropping everything and running away isn't a brave way to do things, but I couldn't bear to risk seeing Shownu again, since my studio is very close to his workplace. I need some time for myself, to reestablish and give direction to my life. Somehow, working with what I work no longer gives me so much pleasure, maybe I should open up to new hobbies or try to specialize more.

I decided to talk to Hyungwon, there are things I want to ask him, away from Minhyuk, so I called and asked to make a video call. Talking without seeing his face won't make me sure.

"Hey, sorry for the delay, I barely got home and went to get my dinner." He said and snatched a hamburger, which made me arch my eyebrow.

"Without me you'll die in two months." I said and he laughed. "You should try buy healthier food, for your sake."

"Okaay Mom, now tell me, what do you want?" Hyungwon asked curiously. "It sounded so mysterious on the phone, how are you?"

"Well, I couldn't imagine how much I missed my family." I said sincerely, and he smiled. "And all these days here made me think a lot about my job, about my future... I think I finally decided how to move my life." I said and he stared at me intently. "I already spoke to Minhyuk and he agreed, but there're certain things I need to talk to you alone."

"You scares me like that." He said tensely and I chuckled.

"Relax. I decided I won't come back." I said and he frowned. "If I ... Come back, it will be worse, you know? I'll end up finding Hyunwoo again, or worse, he and his wife together." I sighed softly. "I don't want this for me anymore, even taking a camera reminds me of him, everything I planned and..."

I frowned slightly, remaining silent for a few seconds.

"Anyway. I talked to my brother, I'm leaving the apartment for both you. I'm gonna sell the studio and with the money from the sale I'm going to invest in something here." I took a sip of my coffee. "So ... The apartment will be for the two of you, you can reform or arrange it the way you prefer.

"It won't be the same without you here." He commented and I know how difficult this is for Hyungwon, since we live in a perpetual 'cat and mouse' fight, but I know he cares about me and I'm glad to hear that. "Are you sure you won't regret it?"

"I am. I'm going to miss you, my friends, but moving doesn't mean we're not going to see each other again. "

"What about Minhyuk? He's coming back, right?" He asked anxiously, and I smiled, waving.

"Yes. He's coming back in a few days, he's just trying to find a way to say goodbye to our mother." I said and he laughed. "So it's ... About the Minhyuk I want to talk about."

Said and he raised an eyebrow.

"I know he's not irresponsible. I mean, he is, but moderately." I shrugged. "So I want you to keep an eye on him for me, to tell me if he has problems." I rubbed the back of my neck. "And promise me one last thing."

I looked at him more seriously and he nodded.

"If you ... Get involved with Hoseok, don't abandon my brother."

Hyungwon nearly choked on the soda, coughing exaggeratedly.

"He-Hey, what do you mean, me and Hoseok? N-No, I...- "

"Hyungwon I'm not silly. I know that you and Wonho will settle things some time and I don't want my brother to be alone. He... Depends on you, in a way, I'm not saying to stop your life because of him, just ... Keep an eye on him ok? "

I asked and he nodded quickly.

"I would never abandon Minhyuk, he's my best friend, Kihyun. I doubt I'll settle things with Hoseok, but even if it happened ... Hypothetically speaking of course, that wouldn't make me leave my best friend aside." Hyungwon said and I felt his full sincerity, which left me very peaceful.

"OK thank you. I'll take care of everything from here, Minhyuk will pack all my stuff and send it back when he get back, so you don't have to worry about anything." I said and he nodded.

"Ok." He said, then thought for a moment. "You know, you can be really annoying and terrible when you want to, but ..." Hyungwon's lips twitched. "I will miss you."

I smiled slightly, nodding.

"Me too. Try eat healthy food. Also, if you fill with soda, it's bad for your health." I said and he raised an eyebrow, which made me laugh low. "Sorry, it's a custom."

"I have to hang up, I'll rehearse at the nightclub tomorrow all night show." I nodded at his words. "Take care."

"You too." I smiled, then he hung up and I sighed, lowering the notebook screen.

I really hope he takes care of Minhyuk.

_________________

**[Minhyuk POV]**

I started to pack my bags little by little, I'll be back home in two days, so it's best to leave everything ready. I decided to send a message to Hyungwon, we're talking every day and I feel closer to him than before, which makes me really happy, of course.

  
**MINHYUK:**

Saving up?Cause I haven't forgotten that you will fulfill all my desires when I return.

**HYUNGWON:**

I'm really afraid to know how much it will cost. KKKKKK

**MINHYUK:**

Nothing your wallet can't stand. KKKK I bet you loved having the house just for you, without my brother complaining all the time about what you eat.

**HYUNGWON:**

In the first days yes, now I admit that I'm feeling a bit lonely.

**MINHYUK:**

Hmmm, I'm going back soon enough to end your loneliness. ♥

**HYUNGWON:**

And also with my wallet. KKKKKKKK

**MINHYUK:**

KKKKKKK, with it too. You know ... I'm glad it all came back to normal.

**HYUNGWON:**

Back to normal?

**MINHYUK:**

Yeah, about us. Things have gone weird, but now... Everything looks like it used to be. I missed you.

  
It took him a few minutes to respond and I started to get nervous; What if he finds it strange what I said? Or ... The way I said it? I know I promised myself to invest in Hyungwon when I came back, but at the same time I don't want to become a offered and inconvenient bitch, I need to keep in mind that he is attracted to Hoseok and maybe I should change my visual a bit to see if he looks at me.  
 

**HYUNGWON:**

I know I left you alone many times, but that doesn't mean you aren't important to me, you know that right?

**MINHYUK:**

I felt special after that. KKKKKK

**HYUNGWON:**

You are special, Minhyuk. No one will ever take your place.

   
Reading those words made my chest warm and the butterflies in my stomach returned. It's silly, but I like it when he tells me these things.

 

**HYUNGWON:**

I have to go, we'll talk tomorrow, okay? Tomorrow is going to roll another performance at the nightclub and I'm going to rehearse all day, you know, I need to have the money to fulfill your wishes.

**MINHYUK:**

KKKKK, That's good, because my list's full!

**HYUNGWON:**

Omg... well, good night Min-ah.

**MINHYUK:**

Good night, I love you.

  
I hesitated, but I sent the last sentence and he let out a 'KKKK' which made me uncomfortable at first, but then replied:

   
**HYUNGWON:**

Me too. ♥

  
I smiled a little more, then lay on the bed, laughing like an idiot, I've never felt this before.

Which reminds me of my birthday, where Hyungwon gave me a chicken pox.

  
_"The two boys were tucked under the covers, not completely cold, but for two who have a fever and chickenpox, it looks like a huge blizzard outside. Minhyuk had won the party of his dreams, his parents had spent months planning everything to give him exactly what he wanted, but within a week he was hidden playing with his best friend Hyungwon when he was banned from leaving his house by the chicken pox._

_The result?_

_A week later Minhyuk was scratching like crazy, and Hyungwon, who was already healing, came to stay with him._

_"You must be hating me." Hyungwon said, his voice muffled by the covers._

_"Not really." Minhyuk replied and he stared at him. "I mean, we're not going to school, there's something good about it." He murmured and Hyungwon laughed. "Not to mention we're together!"_

_The younger stared at his friend and he smiled. For Lee Minhyuk, a twelve-year-old boy who had just understood his little crush on his best friend, having Hyungwon with him, just for himself on his birthday was more than a gift. He knew that he would have to invite Wonho to come to his party, his mother made him understand that it would be unfair to leave him out when they were friends too, but then he became ill and even if he missed the party he won something better._

_Hyungwon is his today, no one else's._

_"That doesn't seem like much."_

_"For me it is. The only bad part is this itchiness." Minhyuk grunted and tried to scratch, but his mother forced the two of them to put on gloves and wrapped a ribbon around their wrists so they wouldn't have the option of scratching themselves. "But apart from the itching we can still do a lot of things, Mom said we can put up a tent here in the room and she's going to buy a whole chocolate cake just for the two of us." He said excitedly and Hyungwon raised an eyebrow._

_"But you like strawberries."_

_"Yeah, but you like chocolate so I asked her what you like." He nodded smiling, which made the younger blink confused but smile. "With a lot of cover, a sea of chocolate lava." He made exaggerated gestures and the boy laughed._

_"Looks good."_

_For Minhyuk the party was more than perfect, Hyungwon was at his side, devoting his attention entirely to himself, since Hoseok appeared in the neighborhood he didn't have that time alone with his best friend._

_"We could spend my birthdays always together." He suggested and Hyungwon raised an eyebrow._

_"But no chicken pox." He said and Minhyuk laughed._

_"Yeah. Promise? That on all my birthdays from now on will be only us?" He asked and the younger smiled, his cheeks turning rosy and he nodded._

_"Promise."_

_Minhyuk laughed loudly, then hugged Hyungwon tightly, ignoring the fact that he was soiling his friend's pajamas with ointment for itchy._

_Best friends are for this, right?_

_Together, forever."_

  
I smiled a little more, this is one of my most precious memories, because it was a day when it was just me and him, there was no one else in our world. We read comic books, watched movies, played video games, ate the whole cake that made us both get sick afterwards and vomit everything, but outside that part was incredibly perfect.

If I can have the least of this closeness again, that will be enough.

_________________

I should return only in two days, but the anxiety was slowly consuming me, so I decided to make a surprise and hope to get Hyungwon home. I left Daegu early, even before sunrise, the journey was quick and I arrived at the train station before noon. I took a taxi home and was going thinking on the plans of 'conquest' in my head, it was kind of tense when my mother started to meddle and give me tips on how to conquer Hyungwon, but deep down I know it will be useful.

I got out of the car full of enthusiasm, I stayed for almost ten minutes looking for the keys in the mess of my suitcase and it wasn't long before I unlocked the door, entering and turning the lights on.

"Wonnie?" I called, then looked down at the shoes at the door.

Two pairs, have two pairs of shoes here and a bad feeling took care of me. I looked at the coffee table in the living room and saw empty pizza boxes and also cans of soda, which made me swallow hard. I left my bag in the living room, just got off my shoes and walked quietly down the hall.

I went to my room, opened the door and nothing, then went through Kihyun's and when I opened I was welcomed by the darkness and silence of the room, then I reached the last door ajar and felt an uncomfortable shiver.

There is clarity in the room, a sign that Hyungwon is awake, so I opened the door and could not believe what my eyes saw.

Hyungwon is sitting up in bed getting dressed, but that's not what shocked me, but rather who came out of the bathroom of his room wearing only a towel at the waist.

"Minhyuk?" They both looked at me half shocked and I didn't know what to say.

And you know what? This was the worst moment of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making him suffer hurts me so much.   
> I'm a bad person.


	10. Chapter X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sooo sorry for the late, it's a big chapter and I was lazy. 
> 
> Guilty, I know, but hope you guys likes.

**[ Hyungwon POV ]**

I don't know how all this ended up happening, but never in all my life I imagined that one day would wake up naked next to Shin Hoseok; He came to dinner here yesterday and brought some beers and pizza, enough to spend the whole evening talking.

I don't really drink alcohol, I'm weak for drinks, but yesterday I made the mistake to drink two beers alone and the result? Chae Hyungwon turned into a weeping drunk who ended up confessing his feelings and when he thought he screwed it up he was rewarded with a beautiful night of sex.

I would be in the clouds in any other situation, still not believing this happened, but at this moment the wide eyes of Minhyuk and that expression of conflict on his face, take away all the magic of the moment.

"M-Minhyuk?" I asked and Hoseok left the toilet, being startled to see him at the door.

He looked from me to Hoseok, looked him up and down, then looked at me again with such a 'hurted' expression that I felt huge guilt without even knowing why.

"Hey, Min-ah, let me explain." Hoseok started and he shook his head, going up to him and hitting his face so hard that he staggered but said nothing and when Minhyuk left the room.

"Wait!" I ran after him, almost tripping over my own feet, but I managed to reach him before exit the door. "Wait, please ..." I pulled him by the arm, but he let go and stared at me, frowning, eyes full of tears. "Minhyuk, let's talk, please ..."

"I don't want to talk to you, I don't ... I don't want to and I can't." He said bitterly and I swallowed. "Go enjoy your happy life." He practically 'spat' the words on me. "It's all you ever wanted, isn't it? That the handsome and wonderful Wonho notice you, you ignored anyone who loved you because you were too focused on getting attention from that... From that muscle-bound jerk! "

"W-What?"

"I ... I've waited my whole life for ... Create courage and tell you and ... And I feel so patetic. So stupid!"

He spoke and I tried to hold him.

"What? Tell me what?" I asked confused and he turned his back, his breathing ragged, as if he was trying to hold the urge to explode. "Minhyuk..." I didn't have time, he turned angrily and met my eyes.

"I love you!" He shouted and I narrowed my eyes. "Since my damn eight years I love you and you've never been able to realize it! All you cared about was Hoseok, even though I left chocolates for you every year during high school, I know you fantasized about being Hoseok that left it there!" He raged and, God, I almost fainted, I felt like my whole body had frozen.

"It was... You?" I asked almost without a voice.

"Of course it was me! Every year, I went early just to put the chocolate in your things because I knew your combination, but always after that... You would come with Hoseok and watch him see all the letters and gifts he received with the same face that I looked at you when I was dying of jealousy. You were mine, only mine until that jerk appeared in the neighborhood, so all your attention turned to him and I became your second priority!"

All his words hit me like slaps on my face; I never, in my entire miserable life, imagined that Minhyuk likes me, I even thought he was in love with Hoseok or maybe Jooheon, but never myself. For me Minhyuk only saw me as his best friend, or his brother, and all this time I went to him to tell all my problens with Wonho.

He must have felt so bad, he must have hated me for telling him so many things while he was in love with me.

"That's not true ... God, I didnt know you liked me, the thought never crossed my mind! If I had known everything it would have been ... "

"Don't tell me it would be different, please, don't. You will never see me as I see you and I ... I-I know it's not your fault." His tone of voice subsided and it was my turn to almost cry when saw the tears seep down his pale face. "But it hurts so much... So much..."

"I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry..." I tried to hold his hands and he pulled away, avoiding to meet my eyes. "Look at me, please..." I begged in a low tone and Minhyuk stared at me, his breath catching in his chest from his crying. "You're really important to me." I tried to hug him, but he pushed me.

"But that's not enough for me." Minhyuk said. "I came ... Ready to tell you my feelings, I came thinking everything I would say, imagined all your possible answers... But it was all in vain... Cause the first thing I see when I get home is Hoseok leaving your bathroom, naked. Do you... Have any idea of how this hurts?"

"I'm sorry..." I mumbled and he shook his head.

"You don't have to apologize, Hyungwon."

Hear him call me by my full name made me shudder.

"Get out of my way." He asked and I shook my head.

"Min-ah..."

"Don't call me that... Just... Leave."

I took a deep breath, then took two steps away from the door and he slipped on his shoes, leaving the apartment. I let out a loud sob, staring at the door in silence whidout know how long I stood there, so hands tightened on my arms and I stared at Hoseok over my shoulder.

"I screwed up..." I mumbled and he hugged me.

Minhyuk will hate me and with all the damn reason, I've been so stupid.

I hope someday he can forgive me.

_________________

**[Minhyuk POV]**

I don't know how I got to Jooheon's apartment without crashing my car; Going through the road with watery eyes was difficult, but I made it.

The door opened and he stared at me, surprised at first, but then worried and I shook my head slowly.

"They we're together?" He asked and I nodded, then Jooheon let me in and I hugged him tightly, needing someone to comfort me.

I started crying like a little kid, I don't know how long I stayed like this, just felt him stroking my hair and pulling me to the couch, so we sat down and Jooheon went to get me a soda when I calmed down.

"I saw then in the room..." I murmured, my voice so dead that I would have scared myself to hear the tone. "Hoseok ... coming out of the shower, like a perfect morning after sex." I smiled bitterly. "And you know which is the most pathetic of all this situation?" I stared Jooheon in the eyes. "I came ready to tell how much I love him, my mother convinced me to try, said I would have chances ... But I think it's too late."

Jooheon sighed, then took a sip of the soda.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's ok... After all I was stupid to think it would work..." I smiled slightly. "While I was away figuring out how I would tell him, they were having sex in my apartment, probably living romantic moments and Hyungwon didn't bother to telling me."

"I didn't see the two of them together in the nightclub, maybe it's not like you think."

"But surely they were already together." I shook my head. "I'm happy for him, I mean, I want to be. At least someone gets along in love. I know I'm a bad friend for hating that he's being happy, but it's stronger than me... "

"You're human, try not to criticize yourself so much." Jooheon squeezed my shoulder and I smiled lightly. "If you want you can spend a few days here with me."

"Nah, I know you and Changkyun are getting close to each other."

"Hey, we're friends. Changkyun will understand. "

"Okay, thank you... I can't stay in that apartment and ... I have no intention of going back there." I rubbed my hands against my eyes. I'll try to descover when Hyungwon's out and then go there to take the boxes Kihyun asked me.

I can't imagine myself living under the same roof as passionate lovebirds.

_________________

I decided to go home and take the damn boxes Kihyun asked me, maybe go back to Daegu is a good idea, I tried and my mom can't tell me I didn't.

Went to my room to get some things, put some clothes in the backpack, notebook and some other objects that I can't live without; I don't want to spend too much time in Jooheon's house because I know he and Changkyun are slowly getting settled together, so I'm only going to stay for a few days until I find an apartment for me.

"Minhyuk?" I was awakened from my thoughts at the sound of Hyungwon's voice and felt my stomach sink, so I stared at him over my shoulder.

"What are you doing?" He asked confused.

"I'm going to stay at Jooheon's apartment for a few days." I explained, and he swallowed.

"You don't have to do this ... If someone has to leave, it's me." He spoke and I shook my head.

"It's okay, here it is close to all your appointments, plus it will only be a few days." I shrugged and went back to tidying up.

There was a moment of silence, so he called me.

"We need to talk." He said, and took a deep breath, then stopped folding my clothes to face him. "Why did you never told me anything?"

"Because I wasn't ready for that." I said sincerely. "I saw you would never like me the way I like you, besides I didn't want to ruin our friendship." I explained sincerely. "I wanted ... That if one day you saw me as something more, it would come from you and not... for pity."

"I would never pity you, I was an asshole, I didn't know about your feelings and I kept talking about Hoseok for you ... I'm sorry, I-I didn't think ..."

"I know that, Hyungwon. I know." I smiled in dismay. "I'm glad you two are together, I know how much you waited for this moment, so don't worry about me ruining everything." I said, facing a photo of us on my messy notebook desk; "I know it's selfish, but a part of me always wished he didn't notice you. It's wrong, but it would hurt a lot more to see you two together and happy. "

"We're not..."

"You don't have to sacrifice what you just got because of me, really. Before traveling I had decided that I would give up, but then my mother convinced me that I should try and... Well, Wonnie, really." I stared into his eyes. "It's okay ... I'm glad you and Hoseok are happy."

"But we're not together. I don't want to lose you, Minhyuk. If I have to choose between you and Hoseok it is obvious that I would choose you and ... "

"You see? That's what I didn't wanted." I touched his cheeck. "As your best friend it's kind of my contractual obligation to support you to be happy." Said and laughed. "Just forget everything that happened, what I said, let's just pretend it never happend."

Hyungwon looked down and I stood up.

"It won't be like that."

"It's the best for us, at least for a few days." I nodded slowly, then he stood up and faced me.

There was a moment of silence, then he hugged me and I swear I almost cried, begging him to leave Hoseok and stay with me, but it would be cruelty so I was silent and stand still.

"I don't want to lose you," he murmured and I felt the tears stream down my face.

"You won't lose me. You'll never lose me, I just need some time and you also need space. Just ... Promise me, promise me you won't gave up Hoseok because of me. I want you to be happy, to enjoy what you always wanted." I mumbled and he stared at me, wiping my face with his fingertips. "Now I need to finish getting my things, okay?"

"Ok..."

"I already packed everything Kihyun asked me, do you mind sending it to me? I left everything in writing. "

"No, no ... I'll take care of it for you." He smiled and I returned, so I turned my back, needing to take a deep breath to don't start crying like a little boy.

I heard his footsteps, probably to the door, then Hyungwon stopped and I squeezed the T-shirt between my fingers, but he finally left and I could breathe more calmly.

_________________

I went back to Jooheon's apartment and he was already leaving; I should go see how my students are, but I'm tired and need at least one night for me. I was lying eating what was left of the pizza in Jooheon's refrigerator when my cell phone vibrated. It's Kihyun, he wants to know how things were with Hyungwon and I couldn't contain the bitter laughter, not being able to stop thinking how pathetic I was.

"Finally." I heard his voice. "How was it? I want details. "

"Not good." I replied and there was a pause.

"...Not good?"

"I got him in bed with Hoseok." I replied and he gasped through the phone, remaining silent for a few seconds. "Okay, I kind of realized that it was pathetic of me to have all that hope; I left the city and Wonho soon approach." I smiled bitterly. "But Wonnie's happy, so fine, I'm happy too."

"You don't have to lie to me." Kihyun said, and I was silent for a few minutes, until everything overflowed, and my brother waited until I stopped crying and was able to say something.

"I came... full of expectations. I planned everything I was going to tell him, how I was going to talk, I thought that if I was discreet, but sincere, he might notice and fall in love with me... "

I mumbled, sobbing loudly a few times.

"And when I open the door... He was getting dressed and Hoseok was... Coming out of the bathroom with in a towel...Wonnie didn't told me, you know? That they we're close. Hyungwon lied to me, he always said that wouldn't hide anything from me... and he hid the most important thing!"

"I'm sorry, Minhyuk... Forgive me, I encouraged you and never imaginate that this could happen."

"I know... And I should feel bad for being so pissed off for his happiness, but wanted so badly to be in that bed with him ... A single kiss from him would be enough to make me happy... Hoseok is better than me?" I asked, wiping my eyes on the T-shirt as soon as I put my arm against them.

"There's nothing missing in you, Minhyuk. Sometimes ... Things don't work as we want, you know? I asked myself the same question over and over again when I discovered that Hyunwoo was cheating on me, but after a while I realized that it was not my problem. I know it's cruel to say that, but maybe you really don't attract Hyungwon, it's not your fault. "

I sat on the bed and tried to calm myself, needing a few seconds to do so.

"Do you want me to stay with you for a few days? Then I'll settle the studio's affairs and do you company. "

"No... It's all right, I'll be fine, it was just the initial shock..." I murmured.

"Are you in the apartment?"

"No, I'm at Jooheon's house, I'm going to stay here for a few days, then I'll go back to the apartment and get on with life."

"What about Hyungwon? Is he going to stay there? "

"Yeah, I won't expel him, don't have this right." I shrugged, though Kihyun can't see of course. "And I don't want that."

"I see ... I need to hang up, but whatever you need, call me okay?"

"Ok. Thank you, Ki. "

"We're brothers, I'll be here when you need me, except to wash your clothes." He spoke and I laughed, which made me feel good. "Take care."

"You too."

I said goodbye and hung up, staring at the phone for a few seconds, then switched the background that was a picture of me and Hyungwon to one of mine. I need to start letting go of this idea, need to get used to seeing Hyungwon and Hoseok together.

_________________

**[Wonho POV]**

I've had bad times in my life, in fact I've had many, but none of them came close to seeing the look of betrayal that Minhyuk threw me when he saw me leave the bathroom. It was wrong, but at the same time it's hard to regret it, because it was awesome at the same time.

I called Hyunwoo to have coffee with me, I know he isn't in the mood for conversation, but he is my best friend and the only one I can talk to right now.

We're both screwed up.

"He imprinted five fingers on your face." Hyunwoo said and I let out a discouraged laugh.

"I guess I deserved a kick in the balls, the kid took it lightly." I commented and he laughed.

"So you two are...?"

"Yeah, more or less. Since the day Minhyuk told me that Hyungwon likes me, I had it in my head. I don't know how to explain it, it just kept poking me and suddenly it started getting my attention more than it should. On those days when we were alone I sort of completely forgot what the Minhyuk felt, I was so excited to be able to spend time with him that ... I didn't realize how evil I was." I sighed and he took a sip of his coffee.

"You didn't mean to do it." Shownu commented and I stared at him. "It sucks, but there's not much else to do. If you'll give up Hyungwon for Minhyuk. "

I stared Hyunwoo, thinking for a few seconds.

To leave Hyungwon free would be the correct thing to do, I mean, officially it was just sex an, but Minhyuk loves him and we're friends (or at least we were).

I should let Hyungwon free, even if he wants to be with me, but a selfish part of me don't want that.

"I know this would be the right thing to do, but..."

"But you don't want." Shownu completed and I nodded.

"Yeah."

"Talk to Minhyuk, I think he deserves an explanation, then talk to Hyungwon and you'll know how things will end."

"I tried talk to him, but he said he needed space and that Minhyuk went to Jooheon's apartment."

"Well, start with Minhyuk. Just be careful, he has quick reflexes." He said and I chuckled.

"And you? How things going?"

"I don't know. My marriage is going to be next month, I have to pretend I'm happy with her for the child's sake, and my parents are making a complete hell on my life." He said and I nodded. "But it's ok, I think deep down I'm just getting what I deserve, after what I did with Kihyun ... What's happening in my life is a small punishment."

"Fuck." I mumbled and he nodded. "Are you really going to marry her?"

"I will. Not by my parents, I don't care about them, but for the child. She or he isn't to blame for what happened between us. Besides, I no longer have Kihyun in my life, I don't care about what will happen in the future. "

I sighed softly, staring my coffee in silence.

I'd better get ready, I'll take more beating tomorrow.

_________________

I called Jooheon by the morning; Hyungwon is working and I decided to go talk to Minhyuk. I pressed the bell and was greeted by Jooheon, he gave me a 'good luck look, you'll need it' and left the apartment so both of us could have privacy and I felt a shiver run down my spine as Minhyuk's eyes met mine.

I leaned against the door, not knowing how to even begin.

"Hi." It seemed the most sensible and stupid thing to say at the moment, he continued to stare me seriously and I felt myself in front of a rabid dog about to bite me. Well, I deserve the bite. "I know I'm the last person you want to see, but ... We need to talk."

"Talk? What do you want to talk about?That you like him? Because I already noticed." He said and I sighed.

"I didn't do intentionally, it was something that happend, it wasn't planned."

"You two were alone for weeks, obviously it wasn't just a moment, what makes me more pissed of is that you two hid this from me, you fucking son of a bitch."

"We didn't hide anything from you, Minhyuk. It wasn't planned, we were drinking and... And happend. Hyungwon would never hide it from you. "

He took a deep breath, then I walked to the sofa and sit at a safe distance.

"Look, it's my fault. I made a mistake, Minhyuk. I knew your feelings and still let it happen." I let out a heavy sigh. "I didn't mean to hurt you, you know we're friends." I stared at him and he looked away. "At least I think." I sighed quietly. "But I promise it won't happen again, it's unfair with you."

"You won't do that." Minhyuk said and I stared at him. "Now that he has finally got what desired the most you will kick him?" I frowned slightly. "I'll tell you what you're going to do, you're going to make him very happy, so happy he won't regret had sex with you."

"I can't do this to you."

"You already did, Hoseok. So now at least do one last thing for me, make him happy. " He said and I sighed. "You should have thought of me before fuck with him. Now ... Now it doesn't change a damn thing." He got up and I followed his steps with my eyes. "And if you hurt him, you'll regret it."

Minhyuk stopped in front of me and I got up too.

"Make him happy." He said and I took a deep breath.

"I'll do it, I promise." I said and he nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Go away."

I nodded slowly, then headed toward the door, casting one last glance in his direction, and left the apartment.

I just lost a friend on my own fault, but I'll keep my promise.

_________________

I called Hyungwon and asked to see him, he didn't wanted, but I insisted; We need to talk, I have to know if we will continue what we begined las night. I ordered a pizza and some cans of coke, everything that makes him happy.

"I went to see Minhyuk today." Said and he looked at me in surprise.

"And how is he?" Hyungwon asked anxiously, his face gaining a worried look.

"Hm... He's mad at me, but I think it's doing ok." I stared at him doubtfully.

"Hoseok, did you know?" He asked and I swallowed hard;

I knew it. I knew a long time ago, but if I tell him now Hyungwon will kill me for hidding this from him.

"No." I lied, God I'm an asshole, but I won't risk it. "I mean, I didn't know, Minhyuk was always discreet with relationships." I sighed and he did the same.

"He'll never want to look in my face again." Hyungwon murmured, and I looked away. "I fucked up everything... Everything... When we were younger, I aways told him when liked someone, and he aways smiled to me, like nothing was happening..." He buried his face in his hands and I did not know what to say.

"Give him space for now, he needs time and then everything will be all right again. If we keep trying talk to Minhyuk now, it will be a lot worse." I said and he nodded.

"Will he ever forgive me?"

"Of course he will... Minhyuk adores you, Wonnie. He would do anything for you." I spoke sincerely and he nodded. "And ... What about us?" I asked and he stared at me. "How do we stay?"

Hyungwon frowned, thinking for a few seconds, and I shook my head.

"Sorry, you're in a lot of trouble and I'm creating another one." I murmured and he stared at me.

"No, no... It's just... I don't know." He murmured and I smiled lightly.

"Let's be the same, and if something happens, we think about this." I suggested and he nodded. "Good."

"I want to ask you something."

"Sure, speak up."

"Can I go to your apartment?" He asked and I blinked in surprise. "Minhyuk left here because of me and it's not fair, it's his apartment." He shrugged and I nodded.

"No problem for me, besides if you don't want to sleep in my room Shownu has moved already."

"Fine, I'll pack my things, then send Kihyun stuff." He spoke and I nodded.

Minhyuk will be more upset, but ... It's best not to get involved in this, it's a Hyungwon decision, I can't say "no" to him in a moment like that.

_________________

**[Minhyuk POV]**

Jooheon invited me to go to the nightclub and I hesitated, it is a normal day and without much movement for not being weekend, but Hyungwon will play and I don't know if I want to see him. He insisted and I ended up accepting, maybe drink a little, I don't know, it will be good to distract me and Jooheon seems annoyed, I think he had a fight with Changkyun.

We ordered drinks and I watched Hyungwon from a distance, his sound is always perfect, but currently seeing it from here is kind of hard for me.

"Do you want to leave? We can go out to dinner. "Jooheon invited and I shook my head. "Has anything else happened?"

"He called me and asked to talk to me, but we were leaving, so I used that as excuse." I took a sip of the drink. "I wanted everything to be like before. If only I had come back at the time I planned, I wouldn't have seen it and would continue to delude myself." I twisted my lips and he shook his head.

"Don't say that, you're hurting yourself." Jooheon shook my hand and I smiled lightly.

"Sorry to bother you."

"You don't bother me."

I smiled a little more, then stared at the drink.

"Soon you'll find someone who deserves you, you're a cool guy, Minhyuk. It won't be long until a lot of guys fall for you." He spoke and I chuckled. "Believe in me."

"I'm enjoying this treatment, please continue." I said and we both laughed, so Hyungwon finished the show and I looked at him again and his eyes turned toward us, which made me look away. "Damn, I think he saw me." I mumbled and Jooheon shook his head.

"You won't be able to run away from him forever." He spoke and I could only stare at him. "It's better to know what he wants, it must be difficult for your friend too, at least you have to listen to him."

I thought for a moment, then sighed and nodded, which made Jooheon smile and squeeze my hand.

"I'll go look around, good luck." I nodded and he pulled away while I drank the rest of my drink, enjoying the sweet taste of it.

Another DJ took over the show and it took another ten minutes for Hyungwon to sit in front of me; I looked at him and he smiled lightly.

"Hey." He said and I returned his smile.

"Hi."

"I just ... I wanted to let you know I got my things and went to Hoseok's apartment." Hyungwon said, and I swallowed, glancing down at the empty glass. "So you can come home."

"I see." He said and he stared at me.

"That place is yours and Kihyun's,thanks for having welcomed me."

"So we're strangers now?" I asked and he blinked in surprise, shaking his head, opened and closed his mouth a few times, but at last he replied.

"I-I... I don't know." He said.

"That's already an answer."

"Minhyuk ..."

"No, it's fine ... I don't want to be in that apartment, I'm going to sell it, if you want I can put in your name. It's as much yours as mine." I said and Hyungwon looked down. "I hope you will be happy."

"I won't be happy without you."

"You will. You were ok while I wasn't here, right?" I asked and he didn't have the strength to face me. "So it's going to be ok from now on." I smiled bitterly.

"I don't want things to be like this between us."

"Me either, but I think ... With what I feel and with everything that has happened, things can't be the same... At least for a while. Forgive me." I spoke frankly and he nodded, stretching his hand slowly until tightened mine.

"I don't want to lose you."

"Sorry." That's all I said after a while in silence. "But I need some time. You decide if you want the apartment."

Hyungwon nodded and I stared at our hands, feeling that at the moment I let him go, I'm going to lose Hyungwon forever.

It took a few minutes, then Hyungwon was brave enough to let go of my hand, and when I lost his fingers, I felt like crying, but I didn't and take a deep breath.

Jooheon returned to the chair after a few minutes and I stared at him.

He gave me a half hug and I started crying.

"I promise you things going to be ok." He said and kissed my head.

I really hope, that some day, this pain pass and I can continue my life like before.

 


	11. Chapter XI

  
**[Hyungwon POV]**

I stare at my cell phone in silence, erasing for the third time the message I wrote, while I hear the mess the children are doing in the schoolyard; I pursed my lips lightly, trying for the fourth time to write something good, but nothing more than a _'miss you'_ came out.

Four years.

Four long and difficult years, I feel as if the most precious thing that existed for me had slipped through my fingers. It seems like yesterday that I was holding Minhyuk's hand in that nightclub; If I had ever imagined that this would be our last real meeting, I would have worked harder to get his forgiveness.

Karma is a bitch, Hyunwoo's son was born exactly on the same day as Minhyuk and yet I am here at the boy's party and not at my best friend's side, even when I promised him we would pass all his birthdays together.

I let out a heavy sigh, startling me when someone touched my shoulder, then looked at Hoseok who handed me a small piece of chocolate cake.

"You're lucky to have the same taste as the boy for cakes." He said and I chuckled, then grabbed a generous bite of the cake and stuck it in my mouth; "Did you talk to him?"

"No. Actually, I ... I didn't even try. It's been three birthdays, I don't think he really wants to talk to me. "

"We should look for him, I'm sure Jooheon knows where he is." He spoke and I stared at him. "He comes to town sometimes to take a look at the nightclub, I can call and see if there's any news of Minhyuk."

I curled my lips slightly, hating the idea of other people knowing where Minhyuk is and I don't; He opened the nightclub in another city, it's doing well and in the end I stopped working there to don't disturb my best friend who needed space.

Jooheon asked me to do this, he asked me to stay away for a while, because Minhyuk would continue performing there and it would be bad for him to keep seeing me. That day I accepted, but at the same time it made me angry, who he thinks he is to know what Minhyuk was feeling. I really doubt that Jooheon knows him the way I do.

"I don't think so. If he wanted to talk to me, would have answered my calls. I think Minhyuk just doesn't want me in his life anymore." I said and he sighed, squeezing my shoulder in the form of solace. "Come back to the party, you're the kids favorite." Said and Hoseok nodded.

"If you want to go home, just let me know."

"Okay." I smiled a little, then Hoseok came back into the school and I looked at the cell phone again, waiting for a single message, even if it was an 'Hey'.

Minhyuk and I said goodbye that day at the club; I thought he was hot-headed, it would only take a few days, and then he would let me try to regain his friendship, but it wasn't like that. After Jooheon asked me to leave the nightclub, he danced some more time with the group and then Jungkook took his place. He disappeared from the map, I looked for him over and over again, but it seemed that Minhyuk had been swallowed up by the earth and even Jooheon didn't tell me where he was (or to Hoseok), since according to his words Minhyuk needed space and when he decided to speak with me he would come to see me.

The problem is that he didn't came, he didn't pick up my calls, or even answered my messages, I miss him so much... His talkative way, his lovely smile, those incredibly bright eyes that would make me happy regardless the problem.

Not even Kihyun showed up, in the first two years he sent me messages on festive dates, but then he disappeared too.

I let out a heavy sigh, deciding to warn Hoseok and go home, we've been dating for a year and a half, officially of course, since after what happened to Minhyuk we got closer. I like him, he does me good despite his complicated way and his addiction to lamen, but... It's not what I imaginated when a teenager, to live that intense love of romance movie, because now has a part missing and that part is Minhyuk.

Without him, nothing will be the same.

_________________

**[Minhyuk POV]**

"I don't want to imagine how your brother's change is right now, he must be commanding the poor men as if they were his lackeys." Jooheon commented and I laughed just by imagine the scene, my brother coordinating sweaty men carrying boxes into his new home.

"They must be suffering, without doubts." I chuckled and sipped at my soda. "But I'm so happy for him, I thought he was not going to leave Daegu anymore because of what happened, but Kihyun seems excited about the new house." I said thoughtfully, dipping my french fries on ketchup.

"It's been a long time, it's natural."

"Yeah, but I guess he still thinks about Shownu." I said. "He don't hang out with another guys in weeks, just few casual fucks."

"Hoseok told me about Shownu the last time we saw each other." Jooheon commented and I stared at him.

Since my 'fight' with Hyungwon I didn't want to see him anymore, if I anyone ask if I miss him the answer is Yes, but if I continued around him the feeling would be much worse and I would end up feeling envious of Hoseok for having him, I thought I'd better go away; With me away Hyungwon can be happy, I know the two are together, so it means that my little sacrifice was worth it.

Jooheon still maintains contact with them, better saying, with Hoseok who is his close friend and also Changkyun, his ex who hates me; I can't say anything, Jooheon has the right to have the friends he wants and Changkyun hates me for having 'stolen' his boyfriend.

Me and Jooheon have been dating for two years, he stayed close to me after my fight with Hyungwon. I stayed in his apartment for six months and only my presence there was enough to end the relationship he had with Changkyun; I won't lie, I felt guilty about it, but Jooheon assured me that it was all right and that the two would remain friends. A year later we ended up getting more and more close to each other and... Well, we are together at a reasonable time, he and his ex remain friends, but I don't feel jealous.

I know Jooheon loves me, he already said that, but I ... I couldn't say it, cause there is a little part of me, deep down, that still loves Hyungwon.

"And how is he? Married?"

"No, divorced. Jooheon said, and I blinked in surprise. "He has been divorced for two years, he is taking care of his son alone, since his wife ended up having problems and the kid decided to live with him." He commented. "I didn't want to say anything to Kihyun, I know he doesn't want to talk about it anymore, so I stayed quiet."

"I'll see what to do, if he wants to know I'll tell." He said and he nodded slowly.

"Let's go out for dinner today?" He asked and I stared at him. "It's your birthday, don't tell you forgot?" He asked again and I ended up laughing out of breath;

"Yeah, I... I completely forgot." I was sincere, what always reminded me of my birthday was the message Hyungwon always sent me, but today, this year, I think he finally gave up and that leaves me a bit sad.

"We can go to a steakhouse, I don't know, anywhere you choose." Jooheon said and I smiled.

"Yeah, good idea." Said and he kissed me.

"Okay, I'll check on the drink shipment that's coming today and pick you up at home."

"Okay." I smiled, taking a long sip of the soda.

I insist on telling myself that I'm being a big jerk. Jooheon is an incredible man, he loves me, he does everything for me, he pampers me and gives me all the attention I need; However, as much as he does all this for me, there is still something that prevents me from loving him, I tried to convince myself that over time this would end and I could reciprocate what he feels, but isn't working.

It's better think of what to do.

_________________

I decided talk to Kihyun; He and I can fight often, but when I need advice, my brother is my conscience. When I arrived at his new house the men of change had already left, so I went through the open door and raised my eyebrow at the mess that is in the place.

"Let me guess, you made them carry it all by themselves," I commented and he laughed, glaring at me over his shoulder as he took plates and cutlery from one of the boxes.

"Maybe." He spoke and I laughed softly, so I went to hug him, we don't saw each other for three weeks and barely speak since he walked in the rush of change. "How are you? Oh, I bought something." He started to circulate the boxes, then found a package and handed it to me. "Here, I hope you enjoy it."

I smiled taking the package and smiled when I saw the dark coat.

"Wow, I love it." Said sincerely. "I'm going to use it today, thanks Kihyun." I nodded, already wearing it, so he smiled. "Do you want to have dinner with us? Me and Jooheon are going out to dinner, on his account, you should come with us."

"I'd love to, but I'm going to stay up all night." He commented and I nodded. "Apparently things are going well for you, I'm happy."

"Yeah, I guess so." I sat on the couch after pushing the boxes aside and he stared at me arched eyebrow.

"You guess...?" She asked and I smiled slightly.

"I need an advice." I said and Kihyun nodded, then went to the kitchen and took two bottles of water, handing it to me. "Thanks."

"What happened?"

"It's just... I feel like he deserves more, you know?" I asked and he stared at me. "After everything that happened to Hyungwon, I tried to convince myself that this lock I had on Jooheon was a natural defense, I don't know, I thought... With the months, the years, I would completely forget about him and I could love Jooheon as he deserves. "

"And you can't?"

"No... I mean, I adore him, you know? Jooheon is amazing and he really likes me, one day when we were lying down early in the morning he said he loved me... And I... I was so surprised that didn't say anything, I think he notice, I couldn't reciprocate and felt so guilty about it, but lie would be worst."

"Do you still love Hyungwon?"

"Don't know. With all this distance I was ok, but now... Today, mostly, I caught myself missing the birthday message." I sighned lightly. "And i shouldn't, understand? Hyungwon should have stayed behind. "

"Hey, don't blame yourself that way, I think ... You just need time, it's normal to be nostalgic on important dates like these, but your life has changed, Minhyuk. You didn't do anything wrong and I know you'll soon be able to reciprocate what Jooheon feels. What you need to do is open yourself up to this relationship. "Kihyun spoke and I stared at him. "You're stuck because you're afraid that same thing will happen again, but Jooheon wouldn't do it, he adores you. Just... Let yourself be worshiped. "

I thought for a few seconds, then smiled, nodding slowly.

"You're right, I need to stop being stupid." I said and he chuckled.

"Lazy, maybe, but stupid you're not... Not completely." Kihyun said and I laughed, hitting my foot on his knee and we laughed together.

"May I ask you a question?"

"Do it."

"Do you still love Hyunwoo?" I asked and he blinked in surprise, then looked away and smiled crookedly. "Hm, sorry."

"No, that's ok ... I don't know, all I know is that I didn't find anyone capable of awakening in me what he aroused, but that's past isn't it? He must be married and happy. "

"Jooheon told me something about him. Do you want to know? "I asked and he frowned, took a few minutes, but nodded. "He's divorced, he's living alone with his son." I mumbled and saw the way Kihyun's fingers tightened on the bottle.

Kihyun said nothing, but then he shrugged.

"Good for him. He must know what he's doing." He said and I smiled lightly.

"Yeah, you're right," I said and stood up. "Do you want help getting everything sorted?" I asked, and Kihyun raised an eyebrow.

"You, Lee Minhyuk, offering me help to clean the house? Who are you and what did you do to my little brother?" He asked and I laughed, kicking him again. "If you're not busy, you'd be welcome."

"I'll give you a hand, then I'll come home and change my clothes." I nodded and he returned.

I don't really want to be alone, if keep my head empty, it's only going to be worse.

_________________

**[Hyungwon POV]**

Wonho went to the gym and decided to go to dinner with his mother, he even invited me, but at the moment I'm not a good company, so I decided to go buy food outside and then go straight home, watch a movie or just play video games; I went into the diner and bought two hamburgers and fries, after all I'm thin, but it's not because I eat little.

Minhyuk always said that he doesn't know how I'm skinny since I eat a lot, sometimes I question myself too.

Got my order and I left the diner; I would have gone straight home (not far from here) if something hadn't caught my attention.

A car parked in front of the restaurant across the street, a steakhouse to be more specific, and Minhyuk came out of it.

Yes... Minhyuk, Lee Minhyuk, I would recognize him anywhere, even though he is no longer wearing the usual redhead in his hair but a platinum blond, he looks good in any color. What didn't please me was to see Jooheon go down as well, I pressed the brown pack between my fingers and saw Minhyuk light a cigarette.

He never smoked, what that jerk is doing that didn't pull the cigarette out of his hands?

Jooheon went to him and said something, which Minhyuk returned with a nod, then the two exchanged a kiss and at that moment I felt my stomach hurt in an unpleasant way, because I just saw what I already imagined.

They are together, Minhyuk has moved away from me to be with him.

Jooheon entered and Minhyuk stayed out smoking his cigarret; I won't have another chance if I miss this one, so I ran across the street and apologized when a driver honked, which caught Minhyuk's atention. His eyes widened when he saw me, and I rushed toward him, slowing my steps as approached me, then took a deep breath to catch the courage to speak.

"...Hi." I spoke and he swallowed, lowering his cigarette. "This is bad for health, you know? You dance, It's not good for you." Said and he extinguished his cigarette, throwing it in a nearby trash can.

"Hi... It's been a long time." He spoke and I smiled slightly, awkwardly.

"Yeah, quite a time... Sorry, I ... I don't want to bother, I just wanted to say hi and know how are you." I nodded slowly and he smiled lightly.

"I'm good, and you?" He asked and I smiled.

"I'm ok, are you going to celebrate your birthday? This restaurant is really good." I said, feeling a certain urgency to get more words out, or maybe just a sincere smile from Minhyuk.

"Yeah, I hope so..." He replied and cast a nervous look on the door.

"Ah... I think I'm going, I don't want to get in the way. It was ... It was good to see you, I missed you." Said sincerely, and Minhyuk stared at me for a few seconds in silence. "I mean... I'm sorry." I shook my head. "Good dinner."

I smiled lightly, taking a few steps back.

"Hyungwon." He called me and I stared at him, then Minhyuk swallowed. "Let's have a coffee tomorrow?" He asked, which made me smile, God I felt like an idiot smiling like that.

"Of course! Of course, wherever you want." I spoke more than quickly and he nodded.

"All right, we talk tomorrow." Minhyuk smiled and headed for the restaurant.

"Min-ah," I called, and he glared at me over his shoulder. "Happy birthday." I smiled slightly.

He was silent for a few seconds, then smiled and waved.

"Thank you."

Minhyuk came in and I finally managed to breathe right; Seeing him with Jooheon doesn't please me, but he talked to me, he talked to me and invited me for a coffee, this is a major breakthrough considering he ignored me for four years.

I should feel uncomfortable, but in fact I feel guilty, if I had been a better friend and realized his feelings, maybe we could be together.

This thought made me cough, it was something involuntary that never crossed my mind, but the truth is that I miss Minhyuk so much and I can't lose him again. I need him more than ever.

I smile excitedly, considering this coffee as a chance to redeem things, I really hope to be able to do so.

_________________

**[Kihyun POV]**

I heard my cell phone ring all night, but I concentrated on getting my home cleaned up, I was able to undo most important boxes in the middle of the night, and slept only two hours, enough to help me load some of my energy; I promised myself I wouldn't go back to photographing, when I was in Daegu I helped my mother in her restaurant and now that I'm back in the city I'm looking for somewhere to open a sweet shop, photography is what I love, but every time I touch a camera have bad memories, so I only do it when necessary.

Like now.

Jin is an old friend, I met him when he married Yoongi, we are longtime friends of Daegu.

He works in a kindergarden and asked me to take photos of the children, they want to make cards for their parents and they need a good photographer.

I parked the car in front of the school and smiled when hear the children's movement in their classrooms, I would give everything to have a child, but I think universe didn't reserve this for me; I went in and asked one of the teachers to call Jin, he came toward me, wearing the school's apron, so I hugged him tightly.

"God I missed you so much!" Jin said and I laughed, returning his embrace.

"I missed you too, how's Suga? It's been a long time since I've seen him." I commented, Suga is rapper, I knew him back when he did underground work in our city.

"He talks a lot about you, you've always been his heart's nephew." He remarked and I chuckled. "Kookie also talks about you and Minhyuk, he misses the two, you two should go out with us sometime."

"Yeah! I would love to." I smiled slightly. "So, let's start?" I asked and he nodded, then we walked into the room and I smiled to see the little ones, they are all three-year-old boys and girls, I felt an overwhelming desire to embrace them all. "Hi." I said and they looked at me curiously.

"This is Kihyun, he's the photographer I told." Jin said and clapped his hands, as did the little ones, so I smiled. "He'll take the photos of you, one by one."

The children started to party and I ended up laughing, I had forgotten the value of my work, this kind of reaction makes my day completely.

I started to look at each child, but one of them in particular made me stop, my eyes widening slightly. It's like facing Shownu in miniature, he has the same face, the same eyes... It's scary.

"Let's start getting organized?" Jin suggested and I nodded. "We already set up a little corner like you asked for." Said and another teacher began to organize the little ones. "I hope everything is fine and..." Jin stopped. "Ki?"

I woke up from the reveries, turning to him.

"You ok?"

"Yeah... Hm Jin? Tell me one thing... That boy." I pointed discreetly and he stared at me. "Who is his father?"

"Hm? Why? If I'm not mistaken, his name is Hyunwoo." He said and I took a deep breath, not believing that from so many schools, Jin works precisely on the one that Shownu's son studies. "Ki? You ok?"

"No..." I mumbled and he grabbed my shoulders. "Let's just... take this pictures, then I'll explain." I mumbled and he nodded still confused.

All this can only be a joke.

_________________

The photos went well, I managed to take all and the kids were great.

Jin invited me to a coffee, and I stared at the photos I take on the camera, carefully observing the ones I took from Hyunwoo's son, Gangwoo. He is adorable, couldn't be more like his father and I caught myself imagining that Shownu should be happy now, having a perfect life as he always wanted.

I let out a heavy sigh, smiling as Jin brought the cafes.

"Here, now can you explain?" He asked and I nodded.

"This boy, Gangwoo. He's the son of an ex-boyfriend of mine;" Said and he blinked in surprise. "I really liked him... I loved him, but he cheated on me, was going to get married and impregnated the fiancée... I was just the lover." I said and Jin sighed.

"Damn it... No one would say that about Hyunwoo and his good-looking face."

"Yeah, I thought he loved me. But maybe it was my mistake." I said bitterly.

"You still seem to like him." Jin commented and I nodded, taking a sip of my coffee.

"Yeah. I tried to forget him, but it didn't work, I went to Daegu to change my life and leave everything behind, but nothing changed." I said. "So I decided to stop running from my ghosts and come back here, I need to organize my life again. I left the cameras, I'm going to open a sweet shop." I smiled a little more. "I only came here because we're friends."

"Thank you, it's an honor to be your last client." He said, already devouring a slice of pie. "And you never saw Hyunwoo again?" He asked curiously and I shook my head.

"Minhyuk told me he divorced. I didn't want to hear too much, but I admit that the news shook me. The boy couldn't be more like him, he's adorable." I commented, staring at the photo with a smile.

"Have you thought about looking for him again? If he's divorced ... "

"I don't trust him anymore, Jin ... I can't, I'll live in an eternal doubt whether he's lying or not to me." I said quietly. "It's difficult, part of me wants a lot, but reason wins."

"Well, I'd rather think that when things have to happen, everything works out for this." Jin said and I stared at him. "No need to force anything, don't worry."

"You kind of scare me like that." I said and Jin laughed.

"I married Min Yoongi, the guy who was bullying me at school and who called me pink princess, so never doubt anything." He said and I laughed out loud.

"It's true, it was an unforgettable marriage." I commented and we both laughed more.

_________________

**[Hyungwon POV]**

I have never, in my entire life, been nervous as I am now.

Minhyuk sent me a message and told me to meet him at a cafe in the center where we used to eat pie together, so I got ready and didn't even say goodbye to Hoseok, who was in the shower, just left a note telling him I'm leaving.

I got a taxi and went to the coffee shop, feeling a cold in the belly just by seeing him sitting at one of the tables. I took a deep breath and swallowed, coming in and going straight to his desk, which caught Minhyuk's attention and I smiled.

"Hi." I said, sitting in the chair facing him and only then noticing the pie and the coke in front of me.

"I asked for you." He spoke and I smiled.

"Thanks, that's what I like." Said and he nodded. "Oh, I... I loved your hair, the color is pretty cool." I said a little nervous and he smiled slightly, so there was an uncomfortable silence and I smiled lightly. "Thank you for inviting me... I thought we'd never see each other again." I said earnestly and he stared at his own strawberry pie.

"I thought about don't call you." He spoke and I looked away. "But I realized that ... Keeping you away has not changed much in my life, and that I really miss you."

"I saw you with Jooheon, are you together?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yes, it's been two years." He said and smiled, but his words hit me like a slap and I don't even know why. "He's a nice guy, he does me a lot of good." Another slap, but this one I know, because the first person he loved didn't do him good and that person is me.

"Good, I'm happy for you, really." I smiled a little more.

"Are you still with Hoseok?" He asked and I nodded slowly. "Cool, I knew it would be best for you like this." He spoke and stared at him. "You can be happy without worries."

"It wasn't better for me." I said and he looked up. "I've missed you so much, Minhyuk. I felt really bad for making you suffer, I never wanted that. There's never been anyone more important to me than you since I was a kid." I mumbled.

"I know, Hyungwon. I know that, but at that moment, however selfish it may seem, only our friendship didn't suit me. I... Needed more, I needed your love." Minhyuk spoke and I let my breath out between my lips." That's why I left, I needed time to digest this all, to understand everything I felt really deep and Jooheon was by my side during these four years. "

"I know... I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, it wasn't your fault," Minhyuk said. "Like I said that day, you're not to blame if you couldn't love me like I loved you."

I felt an idiot, he's so sweet and incredible, how didn't I see this before?

"Now I think I overcame it, I miss you, I miss my friend." Minhyuk spoke and I smiled lightly, nodding slowly.

"I miss you too."

"I thought of ... Starting over, erasing the past, living a new time."

"And how do we do that?"

"I don't know." He chuckled. "I don't know, let's slow it down. I think that's the best thing to do right now. "

Slowly... I don't want to go slow, I don't want it to be different, I only want he with me as we were before. Like when we stayed late playing online, eating sweets and pizza, clogging up with sugar to the point where Minhyuk got so energetic that he spent almost 48 hours without sleep. If I could go back in time, if I had the opportunity...

"I promise I'll do the right thing this time." I said with certainty. "I'll be the friend you deserve." I smiled slightly. "Will you give me a chance?" I asked and he nodded slowly.

"Yeah, of course."

"Okay... Wow, I ... I dreamed about that moment, thank you." I said honestly, smiling a little more. "Now... tell me, what did you do all these years?" I asked and chuckled. "You have four years of news to tell me."

I said and he chuckled, a smile not so sweet like the one I'm used to, but that made my day.

"Oh man, it's so much things."

"You can talk, I'm not in a hurry." I chuckled.

His words was harsh, but thinking clearly I deserve it, maybe now I can be the friend he deserves, a friend who won't hurt him and make him cry.


	12. Chapter XII

**[Wonho POV]**

When I got out of the tub, I found a note from Hyungwon saying that he left and came back later; He's been mysterious since yesterday, when I got home, I thought I'd catch him sleeping, but I found him sitting in the living room eating a huge pot of chocolate ice cream. I tried to ask him if something had happened, but I did not get any potential answers.

I went to work and went back to lunch, meeting him here.

"Hey, finally." I commented and kissed him before sitting on the couch. "I brought food." Nodded slowly and he looked excited, more excited than any other day in all these years. "Has anything happened? You look happy."

"Yeah, something incredible happened." Hyungwon replied and I raised an eyebrow curiously. "Last night I met Minhyuk, in front of a restaurant, he was going to have dinner there with Jooheon." He spoke and I blinked in surprise.

"Yesterday? But..." I tried, but I was interrupted.

"He invited me today for a coffee and we talked a lot today! I mean, it's not the same as before, but Minhyuk said he want's to see me again and we're going to try to resume our friendship gradually!" He said happy, his eyes glowing in a way that I had never seen before and it made me a bit uncomfortable, not for him and Minhyuk to speak again, but only for the fact that he found him yesterday and yet he didn't tell me anything.

"Did you saw him yesterday? Why didn't you tell me?" I asked and he blinked, scratching the back of his neck.

"Ah... I just didn't know if things would work, maybe Minhyuk didn't even call me, and I didn't want to bother you with my expectation."

I nodded slowly, laughing low and shaking my head.

"Nah, it's all right, but tell me how he is? I haven't heard from him in a long time. "

"Oh he's cool. Very well actually, he told me he's been dating Jooheon for a year and a half, I think it's pretty serious." Hyungwon spoke and I noticed the bitterness in his tone; I always knew he was jealous of Jooheon, in fact he never surpassed the fact that Minhyuk had isolated himself from him, but remained really close to his boyfriend. "But now he's a choreographer, everything seems perfect in his life."

He paused for a few seconds, his smile thinning a little.

"I think that it was me who was blocking his life, that's kind of sad."

"Hey, don't say that, Minhyuk didn't depend on you to make his decisions in life. If he didn't do it before then it's because he didn't feel like it." I spoke for sure and he nodded.

"Yeah, it could even be, we scheduled to go to the nightclub tomorrow night to finish catching up."

"Tomorrow?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, why? Is there any problem?"

"It's just ... Tomorrow's dinner with the gym guys, you said you'd go with me, remember?" I murmured and he gasped.

"Oh man ... Sorry Hoseok, I completely forgot, I'm going to uncheck it." Hyungwon pulled out the cell phone and I took a deep breath, touching the back of his hand.

"No, it's okay, it took you three years to get this dinner, go with and have fun." I said and he looked at me in surprise.

"Really? Don't you care?" He asked and I shook my head. "Thank you!" Hyungwon smiled and gave me some kisses.

He isn't like that, this sweet humor, but he's so happy that would be selfish from my part to get in his way; Hyungwon missed the best friend in these years, he needs to recover this time with Minhyuk, otherwise he won't be completely happy. I know him well enough.

"Now let's eat, I'm so hungry." Hyungwon spoke and I smiled lightly.

I really hope I won't regret it later.

_________________

**[Minhyuk POV]**

 

"So you two talked? I thought you didn't want to know about him anymore." Kihyun commented and turned the steaks on the grill, since we decided to lunch together.

"Yeah, I thought I'd ignore him, but I don't know ... If all this distance didn't make me forget him, maybe it's not that easy." I commented and he raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean by that?"

"That I'm going to try to regain our friendship, but only friendship, I'm with Jooheon now and he's too cool to deserve a betrayal or something." I said sincerely. "Besides, he's with Hoseok, he's not interested in me, I'm dating and very happy, nothing prevents us from being friends again, right?"

Kihyun gave me that suspicious look and I sighed.

"The real thing is I miss him, when we met last night I talked to Jooheon about this and he encouraged me to try, he trusts me, he knows I wouldn't do anything to hurt him." I stole one piece of meat.

"What if you had a chance?" Kihyun asked and I raised my eyebrow.

"What?"

"What if Hyungwon takes an interest in you and you get the chance to be together? Would you still be true to Jooheon? "

Kihyun's question caught me by surprise and I opened my mouth to answer, but I just managed to stutter, then shook my head.

"That's impossible, it's ridiculous Ki." I grunted and he chuckled.

"Just don't give up on a stable relationship for the chance of a night." He said and I glanced at him, nodding slowly.

"I know that."

We heard loud childish laughter and our gaze went straight toward the door; Kihyun gasped at my side and I stared at the boy who had joined another man. Just looking at the boy I already saw Hyunwoo, but it didn't take long for him to join the steakhouse with his son.

"Oh man, fuck..." Kihyun tried to get up and I held him.

"Hey, don't do that." I said and he stared at me confused. "You didn't do anything wrong, Ki. If anyone has to leave here it's him." I frowned and he sighed, sitting back down.

I looked at Shownu and watched as he faced Kihyun, he widened his eyes and I narrowed mine as his attention turned to me. He thought of coming toward us, but the boy stepped forward and came to my brother.

"Hi, Uncle." He spoke softly and Kihyun swallowed, smirking lightly at the boy and I didn't understand where the hell he knew Hyunwoo's son.

"Hey... Hi honey." He stroked the boy's dark hair and Shownu came up to us.

"Hey, Kangwoo, don't bother other people." He pulled the boy by the hand and exchanged long glances with Kihyun. "Hi..."

"Hi." He replied dryly.

"Sorry for him coming to bother you ..."

"He took the pictures at school." The boy spoke and we both looked at him curiously.

"Photos?"

"Yeah, but... Never mind." Kihyun said and I stared at Hyunwoo.

"I think you'd better go." I said and he sighed, nodding.

"Alright, sorry. Come on son. "He pulled the boy by the hand, who waved it to Kihyun and my brother smiled lightly, returning the nod.

They both picked a table far away from ours and I saw the way Kihyun tightened the hashis, so I sighed softly.

"Do you want to leave? We can go." I suggested, and he shook his head.

"I didn't do anything wrong, there's no need to go, lets eat." He said with certainty.

He still likes Shownu, it's written on his forehead in neom, but I can't say anything since myself couldn't get over Hyungwon.

I just hope Kihyun is well.

_________________

**[Kihyun POV]**

  
I didn't eat practically anything, even with Hyunwoo away it's as if I could hear his voice talking to his son; Sometimes I looked at them over my shoulder and had the sad realization of seeing him watching me too, so Minhyuk received a call from Jooheon we decided to leave and get a taxi.

I counted the minutes and seconds until the damn car stopped in front of the restaurant, but he wasn't fast enough and what I felt next was a hand on my shoulder.

I didn't even have to look to know who it is, it's not like I can forget his touch.

"Ki?"

Minhyuk turned to him with a serious expression.

"Let him go." He said and Shownu obeyed, but I don't need anyone defending me.

"What do you want?" I asked and he stared at me awkwardly.

"Can we talk?"

Minhyuk stared at me and the car pulled up against the sidewalk.

"Our taxi's here, come on Ki." He said and I glanced at Shownu, taking a deep breath.

"Go ahead." I said, and he stared at me shocked.

"Are you kidding?"

"Go, Minhyuk. Get in the car, we talk later." I sent and he sighed, getting into the car and I waited for the it to finally go away and I turned back to Hyunwoo. "What you want?"

He swallowed, then glanced at Kangwoo who is playing with the dinosaurs on the bench in front of the restaurant, then turning to me.

"I know... I was an asshole with you." He said and I folded my arms.

"Yeah, you're right." I replied, and he nodded slowly.

"Yeah, but... I never had the opportunity to say back then that I didn't stay with you for sex, using you as a lover." He spoke and I frowned slightly. "I loved you, Ki. I still love it, but that's beside the point. "

Listening to it made me look away, then Hyunwoo went on.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, although I did, you always enchanted me. I admire you ... For your way of seeing things, your willpower... The patience that deals with others, with your brother... For me you were much more than my boyfriend. "

I swallowed, shaking my head.

"Why are you telling me all this?" I asked confused. "For what? After all these years? "

"Because I don't want you to think I used you, that I didn't love you, that's what it looked like when you found out I was going to get married. You're so important to me, I don't want you to think that I didn't care. "

I took a deep breath, running my hand against my eyes, then looked at him again and waved slowly.

"Okay." I smiled slightly, not showing my teeth. "Thanks for your consideration."

"Kangwoo said you took his pictures in school, talked a lot about you ... And he's not very talkative." He spoke and I stared at the boy. "I know it must haven't been easy, but I wouldn't trust anyone better than you to take these pictures."

"He's sweet. He's pretty quiet, but it's a good boy." I said sincerely, smiling lightly. "I need to go."

"Okay, thanks for listening."

I nodded slowly, then turned to leave, but heard my name.

"Kihyun?"

I stared at him over my shoulder.

"I wish I could see you again, even though I knew I don't deserve it, of course. Would you mind?" He asked and I felt my stomach sink into anxiety, the sensible part screaming for me to refuse it, but the other keeps saying to accept because that's what I want most.

"Ok." I replied and he smiled then I smiled too softly. "I kept the same number."

"I never forgot, I'll call you."

"Right."

I followed through the sidewalk, squeezing the strap of the bag tightly between my fingers; I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, but it's like my mother used to say, if I haven't been able to forget him in all those years, maybe it's still going to work out.

_________________

[Wonho POV]

Shownu called me and asked to see me; At first I didn't understand what he wanted, but he seemed anxious, so I decided to accept it and took a quick rush off the work to meet in a bar near the gym.

"What's so important you couldn't wait?" I asked curiously and he smiled, really excited.

"I found Kihyun today." He replied and I blinked in surprise, sitting and asking the waitress for a drink; "He's still beautiful, threatening, but beautiful. If it wasn' so I don't think it would have the same charm. "He commented and I laughed.

"Where did you find him? I thought he was still in Daegu. "

"Me too, but to my surprise, today I went to lunch with my son and found him and Minhyuk at the steakhouse. When I saw them I was kind of shocked, I even thought about leaving, but then Kangwoo followed Kihyun and... I found out they already knew each other. "

"Wow... It's quite a thing. Then what? "I asked curiously.

"I tried to talk to him later and ... Well, I even thought he wouldn't listen to me, but he heard... I didn't dare to apologize for not deserve him, but I explained what happened and he accepted to see me again... Minhyuk wanted to kill me, but ... I deserve it right?" He asked and I chuckled.

"Yeah, he's very spiteful, but with his reasons." I commented and Shownu raised his eyebrow slightly.

"Did something happen?"

"More or less, I shouldn't mind, but maybe I do." I stared at the bottle label. "Hyungwon found Minhyuk on his birthday. That's good, I'm so happy for both of them, I've always felt guilty about their friendship being over." I murmured, thinking for a few seconds.

"But...?" Hyunwoo arched a brow.

"He hid from me that they met, went to have coffee with Minhyuk today and only told me when I came home for lunch. I know it's silly, but it bothered me, why didn't he tell me?" I asked and Shownu chuckled.

"You know Hyungwon, he likes solving things himself." He spoke and I waved slowly;

"Yeah, I know, but it bothered me a little." I shrugged slightly; "Actually I'm a little scared." I admitted, and he raised an eyebrow. "I know, okay? I have no rights, I knew that Minhyuk was in love with him and yet I got between the two, but I also know that Hyungwon feels a kind of distorted love for Minhyuk." I mumbled and thought for a few seconds. "And one part of me fears that with the two of them spending time together this will become real..."

"You're afraid Minhyuk will do to you what you did to him." Shownu said and I stared at him.

"Wow, that was cruel," I said and he laughed.

"Sorry, but this is the reality, it's easier to face." I said and I sighed. "Relax, maybe he was quiet because he wasn't sure what was going to happen, and if the two of you talk again you just have to trust Hyungwon."

"Yeah, I think Minhyuk isn't like me." I smiled crookedly and he chuckled, shaking his head.

"Just trust in yourself, that's the best advice I can give." He nodded.

"What about you? Are you going to try to regain Kihyun? "

"I'm still crazy for him, but... I'll slow down, if I can at least win back his friendship it's worth it." He smiled and I nodded.

"I think you can do it." I said, and glanced the watch on my wrist. "And I need to go, I still have a lot of work." I got up next. "Be nice and you'll recover your beloved mad hamster." I teased and he laughed.

"The most beautiful rabid hamster you'll meet." Shownu corrected me and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh God please stop."

"It's the drama king who cries in romantic comedies who's asking?"

"I'm a sensitive man, okay?" I said and we laughed. "See you later, send a hug to Kangwoo."

"Leave it to me."

It's best not to think about these things for now, it just won't get me anywhere.

_________________

**[Hyungwon POV]**

I stared at my cell phone for a few seconds, trying to figure out if it's a good idea send messages to Minhyuk.

I don' know if we're in this "level" of intimacy, but I need to talk to him, I'm afraid he'll change his mind and not want me around any more; I opened the kakao and thought for another five minutes, then I created courage and typed.

  
**HYUNGWON:**

Hi, I didn't know if I could send a message, but I decided to take a chance. KKKKK

 

It was all I could type, chewing on my bottom lip as I waited for an answer.

I even thought I wouldn't get it, but then my cell phone vibrated and I smiled.

 

**MINHYUK:**

Well, I can't bite you at distance, can I?

**HYUNGWON:**

I hope not, you go from a puppy to a pit bull in a matter of minutes. KKKKK

**MINHYUK:**

And you love it.

**HYUNGWON:**

Yeah...

Can we sill meet at the nightclub tomorrow?

**MINHYUK:**

Totally, or maybe we can go somewhere else, what do you prefer?

 

I thought for a few seconds, then smiled.

 

**HYUNGWON:**

Oh, the arcade. I love that place.

**MINHYUK:**

Ohh, arcade, I loved the idea.

**HYUNGWON:**

Cool, arcade and then shrimp, fried prawns.

**MINHYUK:**

You know how to make me happy.

**HYUNGWON:**

I think I'm good at it, at least a little ....

Hmm, thanks for giving me this chance, I know I don't deserve any of this, but I'll make it worth it and u won't regret it.

 

Minhyuk was silent for a few seconds and I thought I had said some bullshit, but then he answered and I sighed in relief.

 

**MINHYUK:**

I trust you. I always trusted.

**HYUNGWON:**

Thanks.

 

I smiled slightly, but then the door opened and I smiled to see Hoseok.

"Hey."

"Hey." He came to sit on my side on the couch. "How's your creative process?" He asked and I thought for a few seconds.

"Better now, but not completely good, I think leaving my modeling job wasn't a good idea." I commented and he hit his shoulder on mine.

"Hey, don't say that. You're a great writer and I know you're going to be good, so you'll soon be releasing your first book." Hoseok spoke and I laughed out loud.

"Only in your dreams."

"My dreams can come true." He smiled and I did the same, waving.

"Yeah, yeah." I commented. "Hmm, I was thinking and... Sorry for not tell you I found Minhyuk yesterday." I shrugged and he blinked in surprise. "I just got really anxious and wanted to keep it to myself."

"I know, don't worry, I understand." He smiled a little more, kissing my cheek. "And I'm really happy, I know how much Minhyuk's friendship means to you. For you and him, if you talk to each other again and become as friendly as before, I'll be really happy. "

I laughed, staring at my cell phone.

"I don't know if we can be as before."

"Strive and I know you can."

"I hope so... His life seems so... Perfect now, that I'm afraid to go back to it and ruin everything again." I admitted and Wonho put his arm around my shoulders.

"If you don't try, you'll regret it later. Relax, Minhyuk adores you, I know soon enough you'll be doing sections of games and all those things you love. "

I stared at him for a few seconds, feeling an absurd urge to ask if it didn't bother him; I mean, he knows that Minhyuk liked me and I already realized that Hoseok is pretty jealous, but he is a silent jealous, when he doesn't like something he gets sulky like a spoiled child. It's not uncommon for him to stay that way, the real Wonho is very sentimental and I feel guilty for not being the couple's dramatist, but when he really gets upset I don't know exactly what to do.

He's a nice guy.

"Thanks." I smiled, leaning in his direction and he made a pout so I could kiss him, but I grabbed the bag. "Is this chocolate?" I asked and he stared at me in amazement, so I laughed and shoved him as he started to grab me trying to steal a kiss.

Yeah, life is giving me a chance and I can't afford to make a mistake; I really hope I can remake my friendship with Minhyuk, but without letting it affect Hoseok.

How I miss Kihyun's advice right now ... He could be a pain in the ass, but all those years without him made me realize that I loved being bothered by that annoyed little one.

_________________

**[Kihyun POV]**

 

I returned home and decided to finish packing what was missing; I need to check the establishment of my future confectionery to see if it doesn't need some urgent remodeling, but if I continue to see those boxes in the corners of my room I will end up freaking out. I was distracted puting the boxes in the closet when I heard the steps and I know it is Minhyuk.

A princess face, but sometimes he has the ways of a troglodyte.

"Are you seriously going to give that asshole a chance?" He asked and I could only stare at him calmly.

"You still see Hyungwon and I didn't judge you."

"That's completely different!" He retorted, emphasizing the word.

"I don't need you lecturing me, bro." He said, and he sighed.

"It's just... You suffered so much for him and now you're going to see him again?"

"I won't date him, I'll just allow him to see me, it's completely different." I waved sure and reloaded the empty boxes, so he sighed.

"Almost the same. I don't understand you, honestly. "

"I'm just tired of running away." I said and walked back into the living room, my hands tightening around my waist. "I tried Minhyuk. I Tried. I met new people, I hang out with men considered perfect in the eyes of society, but ... I can't. He doesn't get out of my head, the way Shownu treated me, the touch, the scent, I remember everything. " I said and he made a grimace of disgust.

"Ugh."

"Don't make that face ... I'm not saying that we're going to date and marry, I just need to try again, even a friendship, I have to confirm for myself and if I'm wrong I'll be the first one to allow you to hit my face..."

Minhyuk sighed and I went to him, holding his shoulders;

"You need to stop worrying about me and thinking about you, your future with Jooheon, cause my brother instincts say he's threatened." I said and he arched a brow.

"I won't betray him."

"I know, but that doesn' mean that everything you feel about Hyungwon isn't going to surface again." I nodded, going into the kitchen to get a soda glass and he just grunted like a baby.

"It does not matter, Jooheon makes too good for me to do anything against him," He said sincerely, and Kihyun glared at me over his shoulder. "What? Don't look at me with that face, I trust in my willpower. "

"Oh, will you say that if Wonnie comes to you, full of love and horny overflowing, wouldn't you accept?" I asked sarcastically and I rolled my eyes.

"Impossible, don't deceive yourself."

"Hm, we'll see." I smiled, giving him a glass of Coke. "Now that you're here ... Will you help me unpack the rest?" I asked, and he whimpered.

"I have to?"

"That would be nice of you." He smiled more and I sighed.

"Okaaay, just because I saw a pie in your refrigerator."

"Oh and it's a good one, you will love it. It's your pay for the cleaning." I spoke and he could only sigh once more.

Some things don't come easy in life.

_________________

I woke up early as usual, had a quick coffee, finished arranging the revealed photos and went to check the place where I will set up my confectionery. The place is just perfect, small but cozy, if I choose the right furniture and take care of the small garden on the side, everything will be amazing.

I was closing the place when my cell phone rang and Hyunwoo invited me for coffee.

I thought about refusing, but I finally accepted when he invited me to lunch at a fantastic restaurant that has many dishes with chicken, the jerk knows how to convince me.

I waited in front of the restaurant and he was ten minutes late; I thought about leaving, but I changed my mind when I saw him get out of the car with the boy holding hands, then smiled lightly, feeling a sudden relief.

"Hi, sorry for the delay, I had to get him in the school, I hope you don't mind." Hyunwoo said and I smiled, shaking my head.

"No, it's alright. Hi Kangwoo." I stroked his hair and he smiled awkwardly, wearing a dark rose-rimmed glasses. "I loved your glasses."

"Thanks," he said shyly and Shownu chuckled.

"Lets go in."

I nodded and we picked a table and took our seats.

"So tell me how are you? What have you done?" He asked and I stared at the menu, mouth watering from so many delicious dishes.

"Hmm, I'm going to start a business in town." I said and he blinked in surprise.

"Another studio?"

"No, a confectionery shop." I replied as I pick what to eat.

"Wow, I always knew you enjoyed cooking, but now I'm surprised." Hyunwoo chuckled and I looked up at the menu.

"I love cooking and when I went back to Daegu I helped my mother for a long time in her restaurant." I explained. "So I decided to start a small business in town, best of all? I don't need to pay a photographer to show my candies." I said and he laughed, which made me smile a little.

"You see, son? We already have a place to eat. "Hyunwoo spoke and the little boy smiled excitedly, waving.

"It will take a little longer, but everything will settle. And you? How are you? "I asked, feeling a little anxious just to ask, but I need to know.

"Hm ... Well my life has changed a lot." He said, measuring the words by the smallest present on the table; "I divorced and we are living in a small apartment downtown, I ... I haven't had contact with my parents since the divorce." He spoke and I cast a discreet look at the boy, who is distracted playing a game in his fathers cell phone. "And I'm working on a magazine, as an editor."

"You left your parents' publishing house?"

"Yes, I didn't want anything else that would bind me to them." I smiled lightly. "So I decided to change everything, for my sake and Kangwoo's."

"That's... Interesting," I said, and he smiled. "I'm happy for you. I'm sure you're a good father. "

"He's cool." Kangwoo said and I laughed, as did Hyunwoo.

"Am I just cool?" He questioned and the son nodded, which made me laugh more.

I felt like asking about the boy's mother, but I didn't feel entitled to do that, at least not with the boy here; Apparently Shownu has moved away from his parents and I'm glad for it. It's like there is nothing else on our way, but I don't know if it's a good idea to give myself completely to it.

I miss him, but I don't know what to do.

"Well... Since you invited me, I assume you're going to eat lots of chicken with me." He said and he laughed, waving.

"Certainly."

"Good, because I'm so hungry."

_________________

**[Hyungwon POV]**

 

I spent the day anxious at home, all I want is to see Minhyuk at once and Hoseok took the clothes to the gym to change there, I think he doesn't want to see me leave, but he gave me full support on the phone; Minhyuk called me and told me he's going to pick me up, so I waited for him in front of the building and smiled as the car parked.

"So, ready to lose a lot today?" He asked and I chuckled.

"You're the one who's gonna lose." I stepped into the car, smiling as Minhyuk gave me that wicked look.

"The one who lose pays the dinner."

"Oh... this is going to be expensive." I commented and he laughed softly.

"Then strive not to lose."

"Okay."

I gasped softly when something fell on my legs, more precisely one of those pictures you take on machines in the malls. I picked it up and stared at the sequence of photographs, three photos of him and Jooheon, where Minhyuk is smiling with a single gleam in his brown eyes and in one of them the two are kissing.

I felt my stomach sink, so I stared at Minhyuk when he began to speak.

"I have to tell you something."

"Ah? What?" I smiled a little.

"My brother saw Hyunwoo again, he talked to him, I can't understand that." Minhyuk grunted indignantly and I laughed. "He was an asshole."

"I don't agree with what Shownu did, but I lived with him these years and he had time to regenerate himself." I said and he stared at me.

"Do you think he changed? I mean ... He used my brother and ... What if he does it again? I'm going to break him, swear I do." Minhyuk said and I chuckled.

It's cute to see him care so much about Kihyun, they both live on the warpath, but he can't don't allow anyone to hurt his big brother.

"I think so... He divorced because he fought a lot with his wife and she didn't like the boy, she said that he disturbed the life of two of them. Before he was born she fantasized a lot about the child, but Shownu didn't want the kid being raised by nannies and he didn't accompany her on business trips and dinners." I explained and he nodded slowly. "So they divorced and he raised the boy by himself."

"What about his parents?"

"They threatened Shownu to take everything from him, his apartment and his position at the publishing house, but they didn't know that he had already done a job interview; So they spent some time in Hoseok's old apartment and then he bought a small one for two. Now they live together. "

"So... It's safe for Kihyun to risk?" Minhyuk questioned again and I shrugged, waving.

"I think so."

"Ok..."

There was a moment of brief silence, then Minhyuk spoke.

"And you and Hoseok, how are you?" He asked and caught me by surprise, I stared at him, slightly tense, then Minhyuk laughed. "Hey, relax, I just want to know how you are."

"Ah ... we're fine ... I mean ... We moved to a new apartment near the gym, he's teaching physical education classes at a school for kids ... And I dropped the catwalks." I explained, embarrassed and he waved.

"Are you going to work as a DJ?" He asked curiously.

"Nah ... I do once in a while, but I'm trying to write a book ... Poetry." I thought for a few seconds. "I don't know if I did it right, but... I want to try."

"You're going to get along, your poems are amazing, I remember everyone I read in our teens." Minhyuk smiled and I did the same. "I'm happy to have followed your dream, finally ... and to be well with Hoseok."

I frowned slightly, not knowing what to say, then smiled.

"You look good with Jooheon." I showed him the picture and he smiled.

"He's cool, treats me good, I have nothing to complain about." Minhyuk joked and we laughed, my laughter came out bitter and I hope he didn't notice it.

"I'm very happy for you." I spoke and his cell phone rang, so Minhyuk pressed the speaker button.

"Hi."

_"Are you coming to the club?"_

"No, we're going to the arcade and we're going out for dinner later." Minhyuk replied and I preferred to remain silent.

_"Okay, see you later then, have fun."_

"Thank you, Johoney, bye." He said, and this 'lovely' moment made me sick.

_Johoney_ , pff.

He hung up, then sighed softly, smiling lightly as he stared at me.

I'd better get used to these exposures of love, however much I hate.


End file.
